I very obviously have not been writing very much lately. There’s been an informal and unofficial directive for creatives to be churning out content in these trying times. A call to action. I saw it, and I guess I ignored it. It’s the perfect time after all, right? Social distancing has caused people to stay in, keeping in touch through virtual means only. People aren’t hanging out, they’re not staying out late. Everyone is at home. Makes for the ideal environment to get those creative juices flowing. But that’s not me though.

Everybody knows I’m the world’s biggest introvert. There was a period of time where I tried to convince myself otherwise, but who was I kidding? Clearly, no one but myself. I’m very comfortable on my own. I can find things to keep me busy. I’m not easily bored when I’m left to my own devices. My therapist recently told me that I have the right personality and lifestyle to easily navigate social distancing. And a truer statement couldn’t have been made. To me, this is really just an extended version of my normal everyday life. That being said, the difference between February and March for me has been virtually inconsequential. The writing environment has been the same. I just haven’t been writing. I guess that’s ok considering I don’t owe this to anyone, but I do owe it to myself.

Maybe this is just another excuse, but this whole virus business has left me frazzled and out of sorts. I honestly did not think this would be a thing, as evidenced by my most recent post. Boy, did that post age fast. Things changed in the blink of an eye. Two weeks makes a whole lotta difference. March 7th, I went to see my therapist. She asked me if I was worried about the virus. I told her, “no, I’m not. It’ll blow over quickly. The media is fear mongering and blowing this out of proportion.” And I sincerely believed that.

There was a whole lot of hoopla about this at work the next week. In my head I was just like come on now, this is old news. But it wouldn’t go away. It stuck around. But there wasn’t mounting negativity or fear in the office yet. Up until the following Wednesday (March 18th), it was still business as usual. We were told that management was monitoring the situation, but as of right now nothing would be different. You were welcome to take time off if needed and not be penalized for it, but there would be no action taken at this time. Again, things changed quickly. By Thursday afternoon there was talk of layoffs. And sure enough, on Friday, more than half of the 500 employees were laid off, including me. They went department by department, and after 11:30 there was no work being done. Everyone was just sitting around waiting to be let go.

I have no hard feelings. They really had no other options with the shutdown of non-essential businesses in New York. It didn’t make sense to keep everyone on payroll. I’m in the same boat as millions of other Americans. It didn’t take me by surprise, I kinda expected it, but nevertheless I was still in shock. I’ve gotten over that feeling now, and I feel fine. I just didn’t expect to be unemployed twice in the span of three months. But it is what it is. I’m blessed to have a good head on my shoulders. I’m not in debt. I don’t keep a balance on my credit cards. I don’t live pay check to pay check. I have money saved up. I thought this through when I quit my job at the end of December. I thought this through long before that. These are the types of things I worry about: rent, food, spending money. Over the years, I’ve cut down on costs, and I’ve saved money. I never expected to have to use my emergency fund, but it’s there if I need it. And I might not need it for 4 or 5 months. Right now it’s just a waiting game. It’s getting scary out there. Things have gotten serious. So for me, getting laid off was a blessing. My already minimal contact with other humans, is now at a minimum.

So in the end, I’ll get by, I’ll make it through. I’ll be fine. I’m not stressing. But the same can’t be said for many others. I feel bad for those who hadn’t thought about their finances as thoroughly as I have. I’m optimistically hoping for some semblance of normalcy come end of April or the middle of May. But we don’t know what will happen. After all, we never expected this virus to shut down our economy. I didn’t expect to be talking to my therapist on the phone on March 21st, instead of meeting in person. But that’s what the landscape looks like. So we have to make the best of it. So what have I been doing instead of writing? Well let me tell you.

It’s not to say I’ve been completely stagnant. I did have a post that I was writing before I stopped working. I’ve been tinkering with it a little bit, but it’s only about 75% done. I know what I need to do with it, I just haven’t been super motivated to finish it. I also have another post planned that is contingent on me completing something else, which I’m not close to finishing, so that one is several weeks away. So I do have two posts in the pipe. Three actually. I have one that I started a few months back, but it still needs major work. On top of that, I have a project still in its infancy stages. So there’s stuff to write, and to write about, I just need to find a little willpower to do so.

So what have my brain waves been focused on? As I may have said, I’ve been listening to The Wheel of Time on audiobook. There are 14 books and a prequel. That’s quite overwhelming, starting a classic series that you’ve heard many great things about. What if it’s not all it’s made out to be? What if it’s a bore or a slog to get through? What if this, what if that. I had so many questions. But as luck would have it my parents planned out a short trip to Montreal last year for Memorial Day Weekend. They were driving from Boston a day before I would head up from New York. I figured with all of that driving time, I might as well check out the audiobook. And man, this was the right decision. Yes, listening to each of these books takes about 7 hours longer than my usual reading pace, but it was well worth it. First off, the husband & wife team narrating this series is phenomenal, and second it had me thinking about the story way differently than if I had read it in text. With such a long series, it would’ve been hard for me to get into it. Matter of fact, I tried once or twice to read it, but wasn’t able to do so. Well anyway, I’ve been listening to this for a while. It’s a different sensation than reading a physical book or a Kindle. With a physical book or an ebook all your focus is on it because your eyes are a necessary requirement. With an audiobook you’re using your ears (duh!) which frees up your eyes and your hands to do something else. Something mindless. My main go-to is playing Two Dots while listening to these books, but I’ve also listened to them on my drives and also while putting together puzzles.

Well, the developers of Two Dots seem to understand how bored we are, stuck at home. So they’ve been offering free unlimited lives for three hours each day. That’s what I was doing last week. Listening to the 12th book of The Wheel of Time for 3 hours a day while playing Two Dots. It’s a bittersweet moment. Two books left in the main series. I understand this was not the normal experience for most WOT fans, considering I started this a few years after the series was completed, but 10 months straight of listening to this series has helped me get to know the characters intimately. I’ll be sad when it’s over, but I can always re-read it! Plus they’re releasing a TV series of it sometime in the near future. That’s one thing I’ve been doing in my time off.

Another thing I’ve been doing since January, is watching the interconnected Marvel TV shows on Netflix. That is now complete. Katie and I also started watching the movies in January. We are almost caught up! I understand there is a Phase 4 coming out shortly, but it’s not the same. It’s not bingeing. We’ll have to wait, and with the filming of Black Widow being delayed, we don’t know how long that will be. That being said, my nostalgia crept in. Surprise, surprise, there was a point in my life when I was big into comic books. I know I’m going to be missing the shows and the movies until new ones come out. So what did I do? I found a list of the reading order for the comics, and I’ve been slowly compiling a list. I’ve spent hours on it… Going through each major event and putting down the # of issues and the order in a note on my Macbook/iPhone. I don’t know if I’ve told anyone this, but I love making lists, so this doesn’t seem like a chore to me or feel monotonous. I actually weirdly find pleasure in it. I love lists, and I love ranking things. But that’s besides the point. ComiXology, an Amazon subsidiary, is offering a free 60 day trial, so I’ll be able to read comic books for free for a while. However, in putting together this list, it’s turned out to be quite a monster, and will definitely take me more than 2 months to finish reading, but the good news is that ComiXology is only $5.99 a month. So that’s the second thing I’ve been doing in my time off.

The third thing I’ve been doing is playing Mass Effect: Andromeda. My interest in video games is akin to my introverted nature. I mostly play open-world single player RPGs like Skyrim, The Witcher, Assassin’s Creed, and Fallout. With so many options and opportunities, it makes my brain run wild. But I’m also a perfectionist and somewhat OCD, which is a blessing and a curse. I end up having to play every single mission, loot every chest. It’s like mentally I won’t allow myself to leave a building until I’ve turned over every stone, found every secret. It gets quite annoying. And with games with a lot of repetition, I end up getting bored. It’s entirely my fault for doing everything except for the main mission. That leads to a lot of games being left unfinished. Games left at 65% completion. I finished Mass Effect, and I guess I have the time to finish up a few other games. But then again, the time used on playing video games could also be used on reading or writing. As with everything else, I have a backlog of things to read. Even with the extra time spent at home, I still don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do. So much to do, so little time!