I thought I had forgiven
I thought I had let go
I thought I had rid myself of the bitter recollection
I thought I had forgotten the painful memories

But everything comes back to haunt
It just repeats again and again
Seeing you makes things worse
I get sucked back into your bullshit

I know better—I’m supposed to know what to avoid
But sometimes I can’t help myself
I convince myself that things will be different
I tell myself that we are okay

But none of it has changed
The more things change the more they stay the same
The more I change, the less you do
Making us less and less compatible

I should’ve known it would be like this
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
You can’t teach a bad person how to be good
You can’t teach someone who doesn’t want to learn

It’s the same damn thing over and over
You just don’t get it, and I don’t think you ever will
I know you’re toxic, I’ve known for a while
But occasionally I let down my guard

Let you back in
And we repeat the cycle of hurt again
I don’t want this, I don’t need it
I know better than to let you get away with it

I know that you manipulate
And gaslight, ignore real issues like my mental health
I know that you can never be happy or excited for me
Never content with where I’m at

You push your narrative
And try to force me into your cookie cutter life
I’m well aware of it
I tell myself that I won’t let you do it to me again

But the pain repeats, the bitterness recycles
I let you back in again and I know better than to do that
But I can’t help myself
I let down my guard, I let you back in

I don’t want to deal with you, I can’t anymore
You just don’t get it and you never will
I tried to keep my distance in the past
I was doing so well, but sometimes I forget
I let you back in and it’s something I always regret
When will it end?