Category Archives: Heartbreak

Forgettable You

Hello, testing… testing… 
One… two… three…
Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
Do I exist?

I know I have a voice
But it doesn’t always seem like it
Tired of feeling invisible
Tired of being ignored
I’m just so worn down from it all

I never wanted to feel this way
But it’s something that I’m oh so familiar with
As I got older I thought that things would change
But the more things change, the more they stay the same

Do I even matter?
Am I even important to any of you?
I’ve never been a priority
Never stood out to you
“Oh, it’s just you… Oh so forgettable you”

Maybe it’s time for me to fade off into the nothingness
After all, who would even notice the difference?
Barely anyone acknowledges my presence
Would they even be aware of my absence?

It’s not like I wanna die
But sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be alive
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to be worry-free
Give zero fucks about my place in society

But that’s just the thing
I’ve always been so forgettable
Always so overlooked
Never stayed in a place that really felt like home
Never found a place to which I belong

Always been an outcast
Always been squeezed out
Easily the most forgettable
What do I do now?

I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried
And I don’t have anything left to give
I’m just so tired, tired, tired
I guess it’s best if I disappear

Won’t have to go far
I’m already a degree of separation away from invisible
All I have to do is stay quiet
It’ll be easy enough for them to forget
I didn’t mean much to them to begin with
Might be better if I’m just a faded memory in the end

Growing Apart

You ain’t gonna do this to me again
I’m not gonna let you keep hurting me like you do
I’ve shown you nothing but loyalty
But no one is ever loyal to me
I’m tired of it
Just so worn down
So damn sick of it all

I wish I didn’t feel this way
So utterly betrayed
But what can I say?
How can I feel any other way?
I’ve watched your actions
And this is what you’ve shown
We were together once, but now I’m on my own

You can say that I didn’t give enough
Or I didn’t care enough
Or that I didn’t do enough for you
But I gave you everything I could at the time
I just wasn’t equipped back then to love the way that I do (now)
I didn’t have the tools to give you what you needed

I’m afraid it’s too late now
The ship has sailed and we’ve gone too far
We’ve drifted too far apart to rescue who we were
What we had once is now too far gone
I can’t believe it came to this:
Saying goodbye
Bidding farewell to what we once had

This whole time I thought you’d be by my side
That we would lift each other up, build a life and thrive
I didn’t think it’d come to this
Get to a point where I’d question your loyalty
Come to a place where I’d have to decide between you or me

I never thought we’d drift this far
Find ourselves at a crossroads where we no longer aligned
I’m sorry but I have to do what’s best for me
Here’s where we part ways
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine

There’s no way for us to keep growing together
So we’ll only just grow apart
Best if we just cut ties now
It’ll only get harder moving forward
Might as well just call it quits
I don’t wanna do it, and it’ll hurt my soul
But I don’t see any other way for this to end
Where we end is where I begin

We Can’t Go Home

We can’t go home again
Not today, not tomorrow, never again
They say home is where the heart is
But I don’t know where my heart belongs
I thought I was yours and you were mine
We were happy once, but only for a time
Where did we go so wrong?
When did it all fall apart?
When did it become you and me and not us?
When did our promises become a lie?

We can’t go home anymore
Not today, not tomorrow, nevermore
We once were in love, so dangerously so
We once were a power couple
We could take on any foe
Stronger and stronger
We fell deeper and deeper
We thought that we were forever
And maybe that could’ve been
But something within us changed
We don’t know what
We don’t know how
We don’t know when

We can’t go home now
Not today, not tomorrow, not now
Home is where the heart is
But my heart is off-course and adrift
Torn apart and smothered
No longer as giving as it once was
I’ve lost my direction
My compass no longer tells me where to go
Back to you it wants to say
But that’s the one place I can’t go

I can’t go home today
I can’t go home tomorrow
Not again, nevermore, not the next day
Home is where the heart is
But my heart no longer has a home
Dazed and confused
Lost and broken
Where do I turn to?
We can’t go home again
Not today, not tomorrow, never again

Left Behind (Time After Time)

Time after time it feels like history repeats itself
It feels like it’s the same old story being told
I’ve been searching and praying for so long
Trying to find someone to hold me
Who would have my back
But it seems like my search is in vain

Each time the friendship comes to a close
Each time I’m left feeling betrayed
I gave it my all, and I tried my best
But I guess that wasn’t enough
It seems it wasn’t meant to last

Each time I pick myself back up again
Eventually I’m able to try again
But the next time is always harder than the last
I can only make myself vulnerable so much
I’m afraid to get hurt again
I’m afraid to put it all in
And get nothing in return

Is there something wrong with me?
Am I the reason all things come to an end?
Am I the reason no one wants to be my friend?
I’ve never really fit in
Never could find my place
I’ve tried time and time again

But it seems I always get left behind
Ignored and forgotten, easily overlooked
What have I done wrong?
But I’m never given the courtesy
Never been told face to face

We’re not cool anymore
Time has passed us by
We’re going our separate ways
And that’s all I’ll ever know
All this but never been given reasons why
Never could figure out why I’m so easy to leave behind

I guess that’s life
No real place for me
No true friends to hold me down
No one who has my back through thick and thin
But I’ll manage, I’ll get back on my feet
I’ve always been on my own, always been alone

For brief moments of time it seems things will be different
But the story always ends the same
Me on my lonesome, again wondering what happened
You’d think I’d learn by now, would no longer be blindsided
You’d think I’d realize that friendship was not meant to be
It’s me versus the world, that’s how it’s always been

Just trying to find my place
But never appreciated and always left behind
I’ve changed and I’ve gotten better
I’m no longer a burden like I used to be
But that doesn’t seem to matter

It’s the same old story, it always ends the same
A friendship ends, a friendship dies
And I’m always left behind
Always the one that’s hurt
But no one ever cares
I’m collateral damage, it’s okay if I get hurt

They don’t think I’m worth much
I’m just baggage that can be cut loose
It’s okay for them to severe ties
They can find someone else easily, don’t really have to search
“That guy, I don’t need that guy,” they say
And perhaps that’s true
But I gave them all of me, and they just said, “fuck you”

It’s the same old story
It always ends with me hurt
They’re able to move on
Never consider what I’m worth
It hurts every time
And eventually I’ll get over it
Eventually I’ll heal
But it gets harder each time

Maybe I’m just meant to be on my own
Cause I know what I’m worth
I guess it is what it is
Never meant to be
There’s not a place for me in their lives
It’s just me and me
I’ll make it through
I promise you I’ll be alright

I guess I never really needed them
But it hurts just the same
But I’ll get over it and heal
I’ll be alright
But I’ll be alone
At the end of the day my heart is my home

Dreamkiller

You never understood me, you never really tried
It’s fine though because I stopped lamenting it long ago
Always been the black sheep, always been misunderstood
Never gonna fit in, not fully
Never part of the family, not really
I’m fine with it, I really am

But the least you could do is have my back
The least you could do is try to care
Pretend that you supported me in my endeavors
You never gave me what I needed
Only gave me what you could spare
It was never what was right
And it was never good enough

You always were a dreamkiller
Never taking me seriously
Never thinking me capable
Never letting me grow into the man I was meant to be
Never letting me breathe, never letting me dream

You have a close-minded view of reality
Only accepting two ways to live
You told me I could either be A or B
But what if I wanted to be C?

I’ve always been different
I didn’t think that was hard to see
I marched to the beat of my own drum
Even as a kid, even when I was young

You never could relate, and I don’t blame you for that
But you never tried to understand
All you did was suppress and discourage
I can’t forgive you for that
You’re a dreamkiller, and a heartbreaker
Never let me pursue my passions
Never helped fuel my ambition

You only gave me what you wanted to give, never what I needed
Never understood that all I needed was just one person on my side
One person who pushed me to reach new heights
Just one person to tell me that I was good enough
One person to say, “I’m with you, whatever it takes.”
I didn’t think I was asking for much
But evidently, the bare minimum is expecting too much

I don’t need you to see it from my perspective
We don’t need to see eye to eye
You and I are different
Our paths will never realign

Coming to you was a mistake
This I should’ve learned
You never had my back before
Why would things be different now?
I knew better than to let you do this to me again
I knew better than to rely on you for anything
I tried to forget, I tried to forgive, I really did

You haven’t changed, not one bit
But I did
I’m not the same meek child I used to be
I’m no longer lost and uncertain
I’m forging my own path, making my own way
I know what I’m aiming for, I know where I’m headed
If you’re not going to support me, then get out of my way

I told you what I needed
I told you what I wanted
I told you what I expected from you
But it’s gone clean through
In one ear and out the other
It’s clear to me that you haven’t been listening
It’s clear to me that my voice hasn’t been heard

You just do what you always do
Control & manipulate
Always seeking to have your way
Always thinking that you know best
You’re a dreamkiller, a heartbreaker
Toxic energy that drains

My teachers told me that I could be whoever I wanted to be
But that I never believed
I wasn’t allowed to dream
No, that wasn’t the way
You can be this or that, but never that
“You’ll do as I say”

I did that for a time
But it never made me happy, it never satisfied
It never made me feel confident or good enough
Never could live up

But I’m better than that now, I know who I am
Pleasing you is an ever moving target
And that’s not who I am
Not a people pleaser, not a doormat
I am who I am, an independent thinker, a dreamer
Someone who’s building a life where only greatness will suffice

I’ve said all that I needed to say
I’ve made my peace
I’m leaving you behind, you won’t keep doing this to me
Dreamkiller, heartbreaker
Toxic energy that drains

I tried to be patient, I tried to be kind
I gave you many chances to change
To show me that you were on my side
But it’s the same ole shit over and over
I can no longer let it slide
I didn’t wanna do this, but this is goodbye