Category Archives: Loss

Art, Family, isolation, Loss, people, Poetry, Wellness

Can’t Turn Back Time

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No matter what we do we can’t turn back time
We might dwell on the past
Or hold onto something that’s been lost
But whatever we do, we can’t turn back time

I wish things were different
I wish we could have what we once had
But we’ve grown apart
There’s no looking back

I’m trying to let go
I know it’s for the best
But I keep getting sucked back in
I keep falling for the same trap

We’re not right for each other
The gap between us is too far to span
We started drifting years ago
And before we knew it, we had gotten so far

Too far to swim back
Too far to reach out
Too far to compromise
We can’t turn back

What we once had is lost
Never to be felt again
A chasm has grown between us
An endless abyss full of darkness

You and I are too different now
Too different to re-align
Too much has changed
There’s been too much pain
Too much hurt, too much bitterness

We can’t turn back time
Things will never be the same
We can’t have what we once had
Best if we go our separate ways

Too different to remain
I see things differently now
I hope you feel the same

When I was younger I didn’t know better
I followed the examples of my elders when I didn’t know my way
But as I grew older, I realized that things were no longer the same
You and I, we see things differently
The generation gap is a thing

I know who I am now
And I see things in a different way
We can’t turn back time
We can’t rediscover what was lost
Maybe we can find some common ground in the future
But I’m not gonna hold out hope

Art, Loss, Poetry

Disappointment Once Again

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Disappointment once again
I thought things would be different
Maybe I’d set wrong expectations 
Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic
Wanting to see the best in every situation
Hoping that things would turn out well
But losing track of what was realistic
Setting myself up to fail

I expected things to turn out differently
So I’m disappointed once again
It seems that’s all I know in life
Trying and trying and trying again
With little to show for it
Finding a win in life seems harder the more you fail

But what can I do but keep moving on?
What can I do to continue forwards?
“Onwards and upwards,” like I’ve been saying
“Keep putting in your best effort”
“One foot in front of the other”
All of this is easy for me to say
But it’s gotten hard to maintain my confidence
Become harder to believe the words I say

What comes next?
Where do I go from here?
What happens when the motivator loses motivation?
What happens when my air of confidence is no longer there?

Disappointment once again
Am I setting myself up to fail?
Do I still got what it takes?
Am I still capable of chasing greatness?
I thought I had the answers
But I only have more questions
What is my value?
How much am I worth?
Can I still do this?
Or am I lower than dirt?

I sincerely thought that I would be blessed
If I only put in the work
But now I’m not so sure
It’s been so long since I’ve seen a win
Please just give me a sign
It could be anything

Art, Changing, Family, Loss, Poetry

Undone

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Each day is more of the same
Trying to get you to listen
But your ears weren’t made to hear
It’s the same ole shit over and over
I just can’t get you to comprehend
I can’t get you to mend (your ways)
I can’t make you understand

Each conversation becomes more and more pointless
We have nothing left to say
Our relationship is just too strained
We were close once
But not anymore and never again
I’m not sure when that changed

We’ve been drifting apart for so long
It’s past time that we let go
I’ve changed but you’ve remained the same
It’s the hard truth
One that I accepted long ago

But you keep grasping for something that no longer exists
I wish that weren’t so
However, I can’t deny that my feelings have changed
Moving on is for the better
We’ll still talk on occasion
We might still hang out
But it’s not how it used to be
And try as we may, that’ll never be

We weren’t meant to last
Weren’t meant to be together until the end
Circumstances changed along the way
And that’s just how it goes
We may have had a special affinity once
Might’ve walked hand in hand
But as fate would have it
Our paths were only meant to intersect
Only together for a short time

So I’ve waved goodbye to what we had
I’ve said my farewells, so we’re over and done
I wish it didn’t have to end this way
But what’s done is done
I felt the sadness, I felt the pain
I wish this wasn’t the outcome

I let you go so long ago
I wish you’d do the same
I went one way, you went the other
Along the way something changed
I tried to fix things, I really did
But you weren’t willing to change
You weren’t able to try a new perspective
And this is why we’re undone

Art, Brokenness, Depression, isolation, Loss, Poetry

Just Another Outcast

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I’m not sure where it all went wrong
Or was it wrong all along?
I’ve felt alone for far too long
Even when I wasn’t alone
Even when I had others on my side
It never did feel quite right

Will I ever fit in?
Is it meant to be?
Or was I destined to be an outcast
Forever alone for all eternity
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
I guess I never really knew my identity

After all this time I thought I’d find my place
Find some peace
But my seat is only temporary
I’m only here for a short time
Meant to be replaced
Easily forgotten
Soon I’ll become just a face
Just a blip on the radar
A vague notion on the mind

I’ve tried for decades to find acceptance
And sometimes I find it
But it’s always fleeting
Never meant to last
I’m permanently impermanent
Just another outcast

I suspect that this is what I’m meant for
To wander for all eternity
A nomad without a home
Someone who bounces from place to place
Unwanted here, unwanted there
Never understood, never appreciated
Never accepted for who I am
But it is what it is, that’s life

I’ve tried my best to find my place
To find a permanent place to stay
But my seat is only temporary
I’d like to stay but I can’t
It just doesn’t feel right

I’m just another outcast
It wasn’t my choice, but it is my role
Best to accept it
Ignore the disappointment
In order to avoid the rigmarole 

Art, Brokenness, Depression, Heartbreak, isolation, Loss, people, Poetry

Left Behind (Time After Time)

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Time after time it feels like history repeats itself
It feels like it’s the same old story being told
I’ve been searching and praying for so long
Trying to find someone to hold me
Who would have my back
But it seems like my search is in vain

Each time the friendship comes to a close
Each time I’m left feeling betrayed
I gave it my all, and I tried my best
But I guess that wasn’t enough
It seems it wasn’t meant to last

Each time I pick myself back up again
Eventually I’m able to try again
But the next time is always harder than the last
I can only make myself vulnerable so much
I’m afraid to get hurt again
I’m afraid to put it all in
And get nothing in return

Is there something wrong with me?
Am I the reason all things come to an end?
Am I the reason no one wants to be my friend?
I’ve never really fit in
Never could find my place
I’ve tried time and time again

But it seems I always get left behind
Ignored and forgotten, easily overlooked
What have I done wrong?
But I’m never given the courtesy
Never been told face to face

We’re not cool anymore
Time has passed us by
We’re going our separate ways
And that’s all I’ll ever know
All this but never been given reasons why
Never could figure out why I’m so easy to leave behind

I guess that’s life
No real place for me
No true friends to hold me down
No one who has my back through thick and thin
But I’ll manage, I’ll get back on my feet
I’ve always been on my own, always been alone

For brief moments of time it seems things will be different
But the story always ends the same
Me on my lonesome, again wondering what happened
You’d think I’d learn by now, would no longer be blindsided
You’d think I’d realize that friendship was not meant to be
It’s me versus the world, that’s how it’s always been

Just trying to find my place
But never appreciated and always left behind
I’ve changed and I’ve gotten better
I’m no longer a burden like I used to be
But that doesn’t seem to matter

It’s the same old story, it always ends the same
A friendship ends, a friendship dies
And I’m always left behind
Always the one that’s hurt
But no one ever cares
I’m collateral damage, it’s okay if I get hurt

They don’t think I’m worth much
I’m just baggage that can be cut loose
It’s okay for them to severe ties
They can find someone else easily, don’t really have to search
“That guy, I don’t need that guy,” they say
And perhaps that’s true
But I gave them all of me, and they just said, “fuck you”

It’s the same old story
It always ends with me hurt
They’re able to move on
Never consider what I’m worth
It hurts every time
And eventually I’ll get over it
Eventually I’ll heal
But it gets harder each time

Maybe I’m just meant to be on my own
Cause I know what I’m worth
I guess it is what it is
Never meant to be
There’s not a place for me in their lives
It’s just me and me
I’ll make it through
I promise you I’ll be alright

I guess I never really needed them
But it hurts just the same
But I’ll get over it and heal
I’ll be alright
But I’ll be alone
At the end of the day my heart is my home