A legacy is a beautiful thing. You put all your time, effort, and money into an endeavor and now you have something to show for it. You’ve left something behind that you and your loved ones can be proud of. You’ve left behind a story to inspire, encourage, and push others to greater heights. Wouldn’t it be awesome to be remembered for decades or centuries after you leave this earth? Your body may cease to exist, but your spirit will live on. How crazy is that? 

What? You thought I was done talking about this? I’m only just getting started. You must know by now that I speak what’s on my mind, and this is something that I’ve continued to think about, even after taking a week-long vacation. Not that long ago, I didn’t feel like I had all that much that I would leave behind. I didn’t think I had much to give or anything to offer. And I don’t think I was wrong. I felt like I was useless and a waste of space, because I kinda was. What exactly did I contribute to the world around me? 

Let’s take a look. As I’ve discussed before, one of the things I struggled with as a youth was getting out of my own way. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Self-sabotage? I knew all about that! I didn’t engage in overtly destructive behavior, but I did suffer through emotional and mental self-harm, which proved equally as damaging. I was held back by fear, anxiety, and depression, but pinning my issues solely on those three things absolved me of responsibility. Shifting the blame towards my mental illnesses and away from myself let me off the hook. I had zero accountability back then, and that was just the way I wanted it. It was easier then to pretend like I was being railroaded. That I didn’t have any say in my life trajectory. That I didn’t have any control over how the story played out.

I wanted things easy, thinking that blessings would come without hard work. I believed that fate and divine intervention would determine the way that my life went. I didn’t need to work hard because as long as I followed God, good things would happen. I expected to see blessings in life that I hadn’t worked for. I looked forward to living a fruitful and abundant life without having to do anything at all. I thought I could coast, and things would come together. Turns out that’s not how life works at all. You have to toil endlessly for the things that you want. You aren’t just going to be handed everything on a silver platter (unless you’re rich and/or spoiled). And opportunities aren’t just going to fling themselves at your doorstep. 

If you want to be blessed, you have to do your part. You can’t expect to reap a bountiful harvest if you haven’t sown the seed. You can’t get by on talent and luck alone. Effort is needed. As simple as that seems logically, it’s not something I grasped when I was younger. Unfortunately, I was quite misguided back then, which severely hindered my ability to grow as a human being. Part of this was my fault—I was slow to make changes in my life due to my stubbornness, amongst other things. Part of it was because I was plagued by delusional thoughts, prime example being my belief that the Rapture was imminent. And part of it was because I had misinterpreted some things that I had learned at church. 

The foremost being the concept of predestination. Throughout my teenage years I was taught that God is omniscient and omnipotent. I don’t dispute either of those things. As such, if I believe that He is omniscient, then logically I must also believe that my life is predestined for me. I don’t deny that either, but I’m not here to argue about the veracity of that concept. Whether or not there’s any truth to it doesn’t actually matter. You still need to do your part regardless. You still have a role to play. You still need to make the most of your God-given talents. Your effort still factors into the equation. You’ve been given the tools, but you need to make it happen.

It’s no wonder then that I didn’t find satisfaction in life, or even know what I was looking for. How could I if I wasn’t giving maximum effort? I half-assed everything, hoping that things would fall into place. I adopted a nonchalant attitude where if things went wrong it was no skin off my back—I hadn’t wasted my effort because I didn’t put any in. I didn’t disappoint myself because my expectations were low. I didn’t fear failure because I didn’t believe I would succeed. But that is precisely the wrong mentality to have. You can only coast for so long. Doing the same ole thing, living the same ordinary life gets tiresome after a while. You start asking yourself, “is this it? Is there more to life than this?” 

For a long time I thought the answer to the second question was a resounding no. I had settled on mediocrity, thinking that I wasn’t deserving of anything better. I had resigned myself to the “fact” that I was meant to live this dead end life and work at the same dead end job. I had convinced myself that good enough was all I was capable of—even if I wanted to be happy I didn’t think it was something that I had earned. I was determined to live out the script that life had dictated for me, thinking that it was out of my control…

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Life isn’t a script. I wasn’t being railroaded. I wasn’t dealt a bad hand. I just wasn’t doing my part, simple as that. I wasn’t making the most of my opportunities. I wasn’t taking advantage of my natural gifts. I wasn’t reaping blessings in life because I hadn’t put the work in. Instead of positioning myself for success, I was essentially sitting back and praying for a miracle. And while miracles do happen on occasion, is it not better to put in the effort to work for the life you desire? 

There are no handouts in life. There is no free lunch. Things are rarely ever going to come easy. The best things in life require blood, sweat, and tears. In order to live the life you think you deserve, you need to put in the time and the effort. You can’t expect things to come together on their own. That is never going to happen, so you’ll be left waiting for years or decades—valuable time that’s going to be wasted. I wasted enough of that in my youth, and I refuse to keep doing so. 

When the going gets tough you don’t quit, you put your head down and you work harder. In times of adversity you don’t run and hide, you deal with it head-on. You don’t pay too much attention to the hate & the criticism or the love & the support (easier said than done). Both prove to be a distraction. The former makes you second guess your worth and saps away at your confidence. The latter puts you at risk of inflating your ego, and thus gives you an excuse to ignore that which needs fixing. Keep a level head so that you have a more realistic and rational outlook. But more importantly, be confident in your ability. You know your worth and only you can dictate it.

Making these changes is a sign of your growth and maturity. But it takes labor & toil. Sweat & tears. You need to be intentional about becoming better at what you do incrementally. You aren’t going to become a superstar overnight. You need to put the work in to get the life that you want. You only get what you give. In order to get to the top, you must do everything in your power to show the world the best version of yourself every day. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone else, but you have to prove to yourself that you are more than capable. A necessary step in that journey is holding yourself accountable.

There is no meaningful growth without accountability. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong. Be willing to accept that you have flaws and might not have all the answers. Be willing to learn and be willing to grow. Willing to evolve and to try new things. But most importantly, remind yourself everyday that sometimes you will need to keep your head down and your eyes focused in order to put in the work that is needed. 

A couple months ago I had the opportunity to see Dead & Co live on their farewell tour. I have a feeling that we haven’t seen the last of Bob Weir or Mickey Hart yet, but man, what a legacy they’ve already left behind. A rich culture and a fervent following. The Grateful Dead have not existed or made music in nearly thirty years, but they’re still as iconic as ever. I can’t think of too many bands that have a more passionate fanbase. Deadheads old and new come together, united by the music. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been following them for almost sixty years or barely two. 

In fact, just the other week, I ran into a Deadhead while I was on vacation. I was camping upstate and happened to be wearing a Dead & Co shirt. One morning, after I brushed my teeth, I bumped into an old man as I was exiting the bathroom. I had seen him before around the campground, and he had that look. Ya know, the long hair, bushy white beard, the hippie vibe. I wondered if he was a Deadhead, and lo & behold we had a conversation once he got a good look at my shirt. Didn’t matter that I was a thirty-something-year-old Asian-American kid or that he was a seventy-something Southern gentleman. We were united by the music. 

Early next year, in January, my girlfriend and I will see Aerosmith on their Peace Out tour. Another iconic band that’s been around for more than fifty years. They’ve been going strong this whole time and are still selling out stadiums. Their songs are featured everywhere, from car commercials to sporting events to Hollywood blockbuster soundtracks. These two bands aren’t the only classic rock bands that are calling it quits this year and next. They’re just one of many—KISS and the Eagles to name a few. It’s bittersweet knowing that it’s quitting time for these music stalwarts. But their longevity in the game speaks to what they’ve left behind as part of their legacy. 

I’ve been to many a concert and music festival, but so far nearly nothing compares to the double set that Dead & Co played on June 22nd. This was my first experience with “old guy music,” but it certainly won’t be my last. Selfishly, I’m a little sad and disappointed that these old-timers are calling it quits considering I only just got into classic rock a few years ago. But I’m also happy and excited for them that they get to clock out on top. Their songs have been featured for fifty plus years, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were featured for fifty more. It might be time for them to retire, but that doesn’t mean that the music dies. Their legacy lives on through the airwaves. And we will remember the good times, body and soul.

So I ask again, what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? Do I want to be remembered as one of the greatest, or do I want to be forgotten as quickly as the dew on a morning lawn? Thinking about it now may seem premature, but it matters. If I want to be remembered and not forgotten, then I have to do my part. The good things in life require your blood, sweat, and tears. Work hard and the good will follow. Be better in everything you do. The newest version of yourself should be the best version of yourself. If you keep putting in the time and the effort, eventually you’ll be rewarded. If you do your part, you’ll live the life you deserve. But you don’t deserve a thing if you haven’t done the work.