Category Archives: people

Brokenness, Family, people, Poetry, Reflections, Relationships, Writing

There but Not There

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All my life I’ve been searching to fill the hole in my heart
You offered what you could, but it wasn’t enough
I was always wanting more. Wishing that you were someone else
It was unfair to you, but I didn’t know any better
I was only a young pup
Trying to find my way in the world and not having much luck
I needed a role model in my life
Someone to guide me through the downs and the ups

You were there but not there
Sorta in the picture, a financial rock
But emotionally unavailable, totally distant
There to clothe us, house us, feed us
I guess you thought that it was enough

But it was hard to read you
You always felt closed off
You were never there when I needed you
I could never reach you
You were there but not there

At least you provided me with a privileged life
But I could never look past your flaws
Was never content with what you gave
I’ve really been spoiled in that way
I’m lacking in gratitude, I acknowledge that full well
I wish it wasn’t that way

I often miss the forest for the trees
At the end of the day, you gave me all that you could give
For someone else that would’ve been enough
But I wanted and needed emotional support
Something that you couldn’t give

You were there but not there
Gave me what you could give
Instead of appreciating it I always looked for something more
Something that you couldn’t give
I realize that now
But it feels like it’s too late

All this time I was looking for a type of love you weren’t capable of
But you loved me in your own way
You gave me what you could give
I should’ve been content with that
Instead of chasing the type of love that I wanted
It wasn’t gonna happen
You were always there but not there
Physically close, but emotionally distant
All this time I’ve been chasing what you couldn’t give

Changing, Heartbreak, Loss, Mindfulness, people, Poetry, Relationships, Self-Care, Self-Love

The Trust is Broken

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Your actions speak louder than your words
You say one thing but do another
You keep making plans but you never follow through
Your words are full of lies and empty promises

Why should I take you at your word if it is always so fleeting?
What you say today does not affect your tomorrow
You change your mind on a whim
What you say one day means nothing the next
So tell me, why should I trust you ever again?

Why should I believe what you say?
Your words are empty, they’re meaningless
Forever changing, over-promising & under-delivering
I’ve caught onto your tricks, I’m onto your ways

I won’t let you deceive me any longer
Your word it doesn’t mean shit
You lack integrity, dependability
I need to learn to expect the least (from you)
You’re no longer someone I can depend on

I wish things were different
But we’ve changed
Gone opposite ways
I can no longer trust you
I can’t rely on you

I wish it weren’t so
But the bond is broken
Never to be restored
It hurts to say that
But I’m moving on

I’ve already let you go
It’s time you did the same
I’ll forever cherish what we once had
But it’s gone for good
No matter what you do, things will never be the same
The trust is broken
The partnership ended
Time to go our separate ways

Brokenness, Death, Heartbreak, Loss, people, Poetry

A Malevolent Sickness

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Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the terror
When will it end?

Humanity has a problem
Sick and vile, evil and corrupt
An obsession and a fetish with fucking shit up
We’re taught that, “violence isn’t the answer”
But is that enough?

Every day I wake up
And I turn on the news
Yet another story of someone shooting up a school
When will it end?
When is enough enough?
Is no one else fed up?

Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the heartache
When will it end?

Are our kids not important enough to us?
Do we not care enough?
Ban all automatic weapons
End of discussion, enough is enough
Such a weapon serves no other purpose than for killing en masse
Get that shit off the streets
Is that too much to ask?

Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the sorrow
Here we go again

Come back and see
In another month or two
Yet another kid kills other kids in school
America has a problem
So evil and vile
So pervasive and ingrained in our culture and lifestyle
Until someone puts their foot down
Nothing is gonna change
So tell me, tell me, when will it end?

Brokenness, Doubt, isolation, Loss, Mental Health, people, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love

Learning to Fly

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They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
To me, that’s just an excuse
It sounds better than, “honestly, I’d rather be alone”
No matter the case, you think you’d be better off on your own
I’m not here to judge, not here to condone
That’s not my business. I’m gonna mind my own

Not so hard to do, considering I’m often alone
Ignored, overlooked, pushed to the side
That’s always been the vibe
Sick of the disrespect, sick of the bad times
I’m letting go, freeing myself
Not gonna continue letting others dictate my worth
I know what I’m capable of, I know what I deserve

They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
I love myself too much to let them keep getting away with it
So I’m letting go, freeing myself
Putting distance between me and them
It’s the best thing for me
It’s the only way for me to find peace
Something that was taken from me

I’m letting go, saying goodbye
Finally, after all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’ve always been alone, always been on my own
Always thought I wanted to be part of a community
I thought I wanted to find my place in society
But perhaps that’s not what I needed, not what was for me

Maybe this is what was meant for me
Flying solo, flying freely
Unchained and unfettered
Free from the constraints of others’ expectations
After all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’m better on my own

I’m coming to peace
There’s no real place for me in society
But that’s perfectly fine
I’ll still continue to learn how to fly
They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
I love myself so much that I’m willing to let go

I’ve come to accept that I’m better on my own
Finally, after all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’ve grown weary and tired of being told what I’m capable of
I’m not going to continue letting them dictate my worth
Fuck that noise, I won’t let you limit me
I’ll learn how to fly, and I’m gonna thrive

Art, Brokenness, Changing, Heartbreak, Loss, people, Poetry, Relationships

Growing Apart

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You ain’t gonna do this to me again
I’m not gonna let you keep hurting me like you do
I’ve shown you nothing but loyalty
But no one is ever loyal to me
I’m tired of it
Just so worn down
So damn sick of it all

I wish I didn’t feel this way
So utterly betrayed
But what can I say?
How can I feel any other way?
I’ve watched your actions
And this is what you’ve shown
We were together once, but now I’m on my own

You can say that I didn’t give enough
Or I didn’t care enough
Or that I didn’t do enough for you
But I gave you everything I could at the time
I just wasn’t equipped back then to love the way that I do (now)
I didn’t have the tools to give you what you needed

I’m afraid it’s too late now
The ship has sailed and we’ve gone too far
We’ve drifted too far apart to rescue who we were
What we had once is now too far gone
I can’t believe it came to this:
Saying goodbye
Bidding farewell to what we once had

This whole time I thought you’d be by my side
That we would lift each other up, build a life and thrive
I didn’t think it’d come to this
Get to a point where I’d question your loyalty
Come to a place where I’d have to decide between you or me

I never thought we’d drift this far
Find ourselves at a crossroads where we no longer aligned
I’m sorry but I have to do what’s best for me
Here’s where we part ways
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine

There’s no way for us to keep growing together
So we’ll only just grow apart
Best if we just cut ties now
It’ll only get harder moving forward
Might as well just call it quits
I don’t wanna do it, and it’ll hurt my soul
But I don’t see any other way for this to end
Where we end is where I begin