Category Archives: Poetry

Brokenness, Changing, Discovery, Family, Loss, Poetry, Writing

Same Energy

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Keep that same energy
You didn’t care for me then
So don’t pretend like you care now
You didn’t even try to give me what I needed
Didn’t even think to find out what it was
So don’t try that now
It’s too late and it’s fake
Just something you do to feel better about your past failings
You wanna act like you took care of me
But it was never what I needed
It was never right and it was never enough

I have so many words I want to say to you
So much that I need to get off my chest
But I can’t think of how, and I just get jumbled up
I’m better with words written than words spoken
But it means nothing now, because I can never get my point across
You don’t get me, you barely even try
You and I will never see eye to eye
You believe that you’re helping me
You believe that good intentions are enough

But all you do is interfere
You’re a world class meddler, and it makes it harder for me
I don’t need your help, I never asked for it
You always just get in my way
None of your motives are pure
Always looking to get something out of it
Looking to have things your way
I’m tired of it, tired of your judgment
Tired of you telling me what to do
Tired of your snide comments
Tired of you second guessing me at every turn
I’m tired of it, so fed up

But what can I do?
I can’t make you stop
Anytime I disagree with you, you make me feel guilty
Anytime I fight your manipulation, you blame me
I know better than to fall for your wiles and tricks
I know better than to let you do this to me
But it’s easy to forget how you make me feel
It’s easy to forget all the times you’ve hurt me
But no more, I won’t let you disrupt my peace

So keep that same energy
You didn’t care for me then
So don’t care for me now
You didn’t give me what I needed before
It’s too late for that now
I am who I am
And I never really needed you, I see that now
You told me who I should be instead of embracing me for me
So keep that same energy
I’ll reap my blessings and you’ll have none
I’ll show you who I am, but that’s it, we’re done

Art, Brokenness, Family, Loss, Mental Health, Mindfulness, people, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness

When Will it End?

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I thought I had forgiven
I thought I had let go
I thought I had rid myself of the bitter recollection
I thought I had forgotten the painful memories

But everything comes back to haunt
It just repeats again and again
Seeing you makes things worse
I get sucked back into your bullshit

I know better—I’m supposed to know what to avoid
But sometimes I can’t help myself
I convince myself that things will be different
I tell myself that we are okay

But none of it has changed
The more things change the more they stay the same
The more I change, the less you do
Making us less and less compatible

I should’ve known it would be like this
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
You can’t teach a bad person how to be good
You can’t teach someone who doesn’t want to learn

It’s the same damn thing over and over
You just don’t get it, and I don’t think you ever will
I know you’re toxic, I’ve known for a while
But occasionally I let down my guard

Let you back in
And we repeat the cycle of hurt again
I don’t want this, I don’t need it
I know better than to let you get away with it

I know that you manipulate
And gaslight, ignore real issues like my mental health
I know that you can never be happy or excited for me
Never content with where I’m at

You push your narrative
And try to force me into your cookie cutter life
I’m well aware of it
I tell myself that I won’t let you do it to me again

But the pain repeats, the bitterness recycles
I let you back in again and I know better than to do that
But I can’t help myself
I let down my guard, I let you back in

I don’t want to deal with you, I can’t anymore
You just don’t get it and you never will
I tried to keep my distance in the past
I was doing so well, but sometimes I forget
I let you back in and it’s something I always regret
When will it end?

Art, Mindfulness, Poetry, Relationships

Sweep it Under the Rug

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Sweep it under the rug like you always do
Ignore everything that bothers you
—that makes you uncomfortable
Problems? What problems?

You’d rather pretend like they don’t exist
—than address them head on
You’d rather pretend that you’re perfect
—than change your bad behavior
You’re pitiful, just a fool

Worse than lying to others is lying to yourself
But worst of all is lacking accountability
Not taking responsibility for your actions
Not accepting the consequences for your mistakes

You’d rather sweep it under the rug
Pretend like everything is better
Hoping that people will forget
—the pain that you caused
Hoping that people will ignore
—your blatant attempts at manipulation

But I’m onto you
I know you for what you really are
You’re a loser, a cancer, a bitch
I see right through you
—through your weak facade
You’re a liar, a snake, a witch

I know your tactics, I know your ways
You gaslight, shift blame, alter narratives
You warp reality so that it fits your story
Toxic energy, you drain us
You suck the life from those around you
Making it all about you

With so much attention you’d think you would change
—for the better, but it’s only gotten worse
You just sweep it under the rug
Pretending like things are fixed
Pretending like your problems are dealt with

It won’t work anymore
We’re onto you, and we won’t be moved
You can sweep it under the rug like you always do
Ignore everything that bothers you

“Out of sight, out of mind,” like they say
But that doesn’t fix things, that doesn’t make things okay
You’re stubborn and stuck in your ways
I say, “oh well. What more is there to say?
We can’t help you.”

Art, Changing, Mental Health, Mindfulness, people, Poetry, Writing

Out of Your Mouth

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Get my name out of your mouth
I’ve done nothing to you
I’ve led my own existence off to the side
I’ve kept my distance from you
Out of the spotlight, hidden in the shadows
Minding my own business, doing my thing

I’ve been grinding away, working hard
Head down, focused
Had my sights set on my goals
I’ve had nothing more in mind
But my eye on the prize
Nothing will get in my way, nothing will distract me from this

Although you may try
There’s nothing between you and I
No relation, you mean nothing to me
Barely a blip on my mind
Get my name out of your mouth
I’ve done nothing to you

I’ve put my head down and focused on me
It’s best if you focus on you
Do better, be more than you are
A perpetual loser, someone who isn’t winning in life
I don’t know what I’ve done to make you so green
I don’t know what I’ve done to invoke envy

I’ve put my head down and focused on me
It’s best if you focus on you
Nothing I did was with you in mind
Nothing I did was to spite you
There’s nothing between you and I
Whatever disdain you feel was fabricated by you

I’m not around, so I’m easy to blame
A scapegoat for all your troubles
An easy target for you
Someone who can’t defend himself
You’re the source of untruth
I’m a bad guy, a public enemy

It’s easier for you to believe that
Than to do something real
Easier to blame me than to accept responsibility
To admit fault, to hold yourself accountable
Easier to blame me than to say sorry
Easier to blame me than to try to change and improve

There’s nothing between you and I
Get my name out of your mouth
I’ve done nothing to you
I’ve put my head down and focused on me
It’s best if you focus on you
I can’t wait for the day when we are through

Art, Changing, Poetry, Writing

First Impressions

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A grifter and a snake
A liar and a cheat
You showed us your true colors
And you’re not the man we thought you were

At first you were kind
At first you were caring
At first you were loving and full of charity
We thought you great
We thought you mighty
We thought you were for the people

But you are none of this
Mediocre at best
No better than the rest
Just a small man with even smaller dreams
Lazy and useless
Ambitionless, without drive

You showed us something different
You showed us something superior, at first
We thought you were like us
Striving for better, trying harder
Looking to be the best version you could be

But that was the truth only for a time
I must applaud you
You got one over on us
You tricked us, you lied
You sold us on a version of yourself that no longer exists
You made a good first impression 
And for you that was all that mattered

But we can see through the static, we know what you are
A grifter and a snake
A liar and a cheat
Someone who no longer tries
You’ve grown lazy and fat
Accepted your station

Ambitionless, without drive
Caring about no one but yourself
But not even caring enough
To better yourself, to take good care
A puny boy who needs a hand to hold
Someone who never grew up
You are what you are, a “man” mired in mediocrity

We don’t need that energy, we’d like to move on
You got one over on us before
Blinded us to the truth
But we’ve seen your true colors
And that’s all we need to see
A grifter and a snake
A liar and a cheat