Category Archives: Poetry

Poetry, Writing

Smothering Me

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I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
What you call love feels like drowning to me
I’m only human, I love the attention
But at times it’s too much for me
I never thought that I would say this
I love when the spotlight shines down
And I love that I’m your focus

But I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
What you call love is suffocating me
You’re like a weighted blanket
Pushing down on me
Forcing me to cater to your every need
I can’t do this anymore
It’s too much, more than I can bear
We’re not good for each other
Only bringing out the worst in each other

I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
Forcing my head down under the water
But I’m also no good on my own
I’m dysfunctional when I’m alone
It’s hard for me to pick my head up and move on
It’s hard for me to make decisions on my own
I need you by my side
With you I’m able to survive
But I want more than that
I want to be able to thrive

But I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
What you call love is drowning me
I feel that I’m not my own
We’ve found a new identity as one
I thought that it was what I wanted
But they say to be careful what you wish for
I should’ve listened, but it’s over and done
I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
Unfortunately for me, that’s how it’ll be for eternity

Heartbreak, Loss, Poetry

Eulogy/The Final Goodbye

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We didn’t know you for long
But we loved you a lot
Invested so much time and energy
Only for you to be given up
It wasn’t our choice
We wanted you with us

But sometimes people just do what they want
Regardless of if it’s their right
Regardless of who it may hurt
We wanted to adopt you, to give you a home
But the time wasn’t right for us
And now it’s run out

We didn’t know that it would
Thought there’d be as much as we wanted
But things don’t always go the way that we thought
People aren’t always aligned with us
They don’t always do what they’ve been told
They don’t always respect our wishes
Don’t always keep us in mind

I’ve learned that the hard way time after time
People are much more liable to act in self-interest
Sometimes it feels like altruism is just a myth
It’s disappointing to find
That those you found purest of heart
Give into their human nature time and again

I used to have hope that there was still good in this world
But seeing so much greed and selfishness I’m no longer so certain
Perhaps it was for the best that you were given away
You’d get someone’s full undivided attention
—Something that we weren’t able to give

It still hurts to see you go away
But it’ll become a little bit easier each subsequent day
I wish you the best
I hope they take care of you well
We didn’t get to say goodbye or wish you farewell
The decision was taken away from us
It’s something we’ll never forgive
But now that you’re gone
We wish you luck in your new home

Art, Brokenness, Changing, Discovery, Existentialism, Mental Health, Poetry, Questions, Reflections

Where Do I Go from Here?

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It’s become so hard for me to see
Where I wanna go and where I wanna be
I thought I knew, for the longest time
But I’m losing my direction slowly but surely
Things haven’t played out the way that I wanted
I was always meant to pivot from there
But it’s become harder to do as I get more blue

There was a time when I had plans A, B, and C
There were moments when I thought I had it all figured out
I was adaptable and flexible, motivated to press on
I kept my legs churning, kept moving forward

But it’s become harder and harder of late
It’s become easy for me to lose my way
It’s been so long since I’ve had a win
So it’s become harder and harder to bounce back
It’s become easier to lose my focus

How do I keep going on?
How do I transition to the next phase
When I’ve been out of it for so long?
What do I do next?
What is the next move?
I wish I knew
I wish I had my unshakeable confidence back
I wish my compass would fix itself
So I’d have some sense of direction once again

I’ve been going out of my mind
Trying to fit the pieces back together
But it hasn’t been the easiest of late
Something just feels off
Doesn’t feel right

It’s a feeling that I’ve tried my hardest to shake
But it just won’t break away, won’t come free
It’s sitting there in the back of my mind
There when I’m awake, there when I’m asleep
My subconscious mind is trying to tell me something
But what?

The same dreams repeat over and over
Placing me in the middle of scenarios that I thought I’d outgrown
Reminders of past failures continuing to trouble my mind
But I’m not like that anymore!
I’m better now, smarter, wiser, enlightened

But still my past haunts me in my dreams
Still it screams out, “I’m still here!”
How do I tune out the voices?
How do I let go of the past?
How do I move on into the present and the future
When my past is still clawing at my leg?
I’ve moved on, I’ve gotten over it, I’ve let go
But it seems my past still has ahold of me
Gripping tightly and never letting go
How do I move on?
Where do I go from here?

Brokenness, Discovery, Mental Health, Poetry, Questions, Reflections, Writing

Losing My Way

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For so long I thought I knew where I wanted to go
But it seems I’ve lost my way as of late
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
I knew it wouldn’t be quick
And yet I still found myself sick (of waiting)
I found myself feeling impatient
Feeling like the whole world was against me
Feeling like the fates weren’t going to be kind

But I was being too hard on myself
Not giving myself enough credit
Not properly valuing my worth
Overlooking the amount of work I’ve put in
I can do great things, I just need to believe in myself
I’ve already learned so much along the way
Already improved by leaps and bounds

I have to keep pressing on
There’s more to learn
More to do along the way
The going will be tough, won’t ever be easy
But I’ve faced failure before
And I’m not afraid of it

The best things in life require hard work and sacrifice
Success is earned, it’s never given
Your reward will come once the work is done
Not a second or a minute or a day before
Your time will come
But it may not be according to plan

Keep your head down
And keep doing what you do
Your toil and dedication will get you to where you want to go
In the end you will have the last laugh
All those who doubted you
Where are they now?
They’ve been silenced
And have floated away in the wind

Some day you’ll get to where you want to go
But not without effort and work ethic
Not without putting in the hours
Sometimes you will find that you’ve lost your way
But it doesn’t mean you can’t find your way back again
Take a step back and relax
Show yourself some grace
Be patient with yourself
You’ll figure it out at the end of the day

Discovery, Growth, Mindfulness, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness, Writing

Meet Me Halfway

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One day son it’ll be made clear
That you can’t always get what you want
Try as you may
There will come a time when you realize
That to get the most out of life requires compromise
It requires sacrifice
And it means that you’ll have to meet people halfway
You won’t always get your way
And that’s perfectly okay

That’s how life goes
You win some and you lose some
That’s always been the way (that it is)
It just depends on how the wind blows
Some days it’ll be favorable, some days it won’t
You’ll have to learn to accept that
And roll with the punches
You’ll have a hard time in life if you don’t

There comes a time in your life
When you’ll have to compromise
When you’ll have to make sacrifices
It’s a sign of maturity, a part of growing up
One day you’ll wake up and find
That you’ll have to meet someone halfway
In order to build a life
You’ll both have to sacrifice
You can’t have a symbiotic relationship any other way

That’s how it is with most things
The sooner you realize the more that you’ll thrive
The sooner you accept compromise the more you’ll be prepared
For whatever life throws your way
You’re going to have to meet me halfway
Neither of us can do all the work
That’s neither fair nor just

The name of the game is to be a meaningful part of society
You can’t really be that if you’re always trying to get your way
Sometimes you have to accept that it won’t tilt your way
You’ll have to meet them halfway
Accept that you might have to compromise
Accept that you’ll have to sacrifice
It’s an inevitable part of life