Category Archives: Poetry

Brokenness, Doubt, Existentialism, Mental Health, Poetry, Questions

Upside Down

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It seems that up is down
And left is right
Everything is upside down and inside out
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why does misfortune exist in a world of love?
What did they do to deserve such horrid luck?
Why are they being punished for doing their best?

I thought that there was justice in the world
I thought that the equation was balanced
I thought that good would overcome evil
That blessings came from effort
But I was sorely mistaken
And I’m more confused than ever

It seems that up is down
And left is right
Everything is upside down and inside out
Good guys finish last
And the villains have a blast
It seems that effort and energy mean little in the end
You can toil and sweat and still never win

Randomness, luck and chance seem to rule the day
So where does that leave me?
Busting my ass, but for what?
Never seem to win, big or small
Never given a chance
Not afforded the time of day
No chance for me to advance

The ones that work the hardest end up with the least
It seems that up is down
And left is right
Everything is upside down and inside out
The evil come out on top
The greedy are the ones that profit

But where does that leave us?
The ones with the effort and the energy
The ones with the work ethic
We’re left begging for scraps
Holding out our hands
Hoping that the world still has one blessing left for us

Hoping and praying for an eternity
But with nothing to show for it in the end
It’s not fair, it’s not right, it’s not just
But it is what it is
It seems up is down
And left is right
Everything is upside down and inside out
With no end to it in sight

Brokenness, Depression, Heartbreak, isolation, Loss, Mental Health, Poetry

Forgettable You

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Hello, testing… testing… 
One… two… three…
Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
Do I exist?

I know I have a voice
But it doesn’t always seem like it
Tired of feeling invisible
Tired of being ignored
I’m just so worn down from it all

I never wanted to feel this way
But it’s something that I’m oh so familiar with
As I got older I thought that things would change
But the more things change, the more they stay the same

Do I even matter?
Am I even important to any of you?
I’ve never been a priority
Never stood out to you
“Oh, it’s just you… Oh so forgettable you”

Maybe it’s time for me to fade off into the nothingness
After all, who would even notice the difference?
Barely anyone acknowledges my presence
Would they even be aware of my absence?

It’s not like I wanna die
But sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be alive
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to be worry-free
Give zero fucks about my place in society

But that’s just the thing
I’ve always been so forgettable
Always so overlooked
Never stayed in a place that really felt like home
Never found a place to which I belong

Always been an outcast
Always been squeezed out
Easily the most forgettable
What do I do now?

I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried
And I don’t have anything left to give
I’m just so tired, tired, tired
I guess it’s best if I disappear

Won’t have to go far
I’m already a degree of separation away from invisible
All I have to do is stay quiet
It’ll be easy enough for them to forget
I didn’t mean much to them to begin with
Might be better if I’m just a faded memory in the end

Art, Brokenness, Changing, Heartbreak, Loss, people, Poetry, Relationships

Growing Apart

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You ain’t gonna do this to me again
I’m not gonna let you keep hurting me like you do
I’ve shown you nothing but loyalty
But no one is ever loyal to me
I’m tired of it
Just so worn down
So damn sick of it all

I wish I didn’t feel this way
So utterly betrayed
But what can I say?
How can I feel any other way?
I’ve watched your actions
And this is what you’ve shown
We were together once, but now I’m on my own

You can say that I didn’t give enough
Or I didn’t care enough
Or that I didn’t do enough for you
But I gave you everything I could at the time
I just wasn’t equipped back then to love the way that I do (now)
I didn’t have the tools to give you what you needed

I’m afraid it’s too late now
The ship has sailed and we’ve gone too far
We’ve drifted too far apart to rescue who we were
What we had once is now too far gone
I can’t believe it came to this:
Saying goodbye
Bidding farewell to what we once had

This whole time I thought you’d be by my side
That we would lift each other up, build a life and thrive
I didn’t think it’d come to this
Get to a point where I’d question your loyalty
Come to a place where I’d have to decide between you or me

I never thought we’d drift this far
Find ourselves at a crossroads where we no longer aligned
I’m sorry but I have to do what’s best for me
Here’s where we part ways
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine

There’s no way for us to keep growing together
So we’ll only just grow apart
Best if we just cut ties now
It’ll only get harder moving forward
Might as well just call it quits
I don’t wanna do it, and it’ll hurt my soul
But I don’t see any other way for this to end
Where we end is where I begin

Art, Brokenness, Depression, isolation, Mental Health, Poetry

Just a Fool

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It’s hard for me to see the forest for the trees
Too caught up in the details that I lose sight of the goal
It’s rough out here, expecting more than I’m shown
It’s rough out here, being on my own
I thought things would play out differently
I thought I was living according to my destiny

Am I just a fool?
Trying to pursue a dream that’s unattainable?
I thought I was doing something that was meaningful
I thought I was making a difference
Trying to strive for something better
But it seems I may have overvalued my worth
It seems no one cares about my words
All empty, all fluff
Better I guess, if I just shut up

Where do I go from here?
I’ve put in so much time and energy
And gotten nothing in return
As inconsequential as I’ve ever been
More invisible than ever

I’ve fallen back down into a pit of despair
Nowhere to go but up from here
I see where I need to go
But how do I get there?
No footholds, nothing to pull myself up
No hand to hold, no one to lift me up

Am I just a fool?
Delusional for thinking that things would play out differently?
Holding out hope that life would be better
Thinking that people would understand me more or treat me nicer
Am I just a fool?
For thinking there’d be more love and support
For thinking that just once I’d know how it felt to be appreciated?

It seems I’ve only set myself up for disappointment
A fool for expecting different
A fool for expecting better
It seems I’m just setting myself up to fail
Expectations not in line with reality

I should’ve known no one would care
“Watch their actions and not their words”
Something that I keep reminding myself
It’s something I’ve grown to know full well
They don’t care about the things I care about
They never have and they never will
Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier
Doesn’t make it hurt any less
In fact, it does the opposite

Makes it hard to stay focused
Makes it hard to continue on
Makes it hard to keep on dreaming
Makes it hard to pursue my goals
Where do I go from here?
Do I just keep on keeping on?

Am I just a fool?
Thinking that this would satisfy?
Thinking it’d be enough?
Am I just a fool?
Thinking that things would be different?
That I would find my worth?
Am I just a fool?
Thinking that people would listen for the first time ever?
Never been given the time of day
Doesn’t look like that will change

Existentialism, people, Poetry, Questions, Reflections, Writing

Karma?

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You get what you give
So I’ve been told
But it doesn’t always feel that way
It seems quite often that the equation isn’t equal
The universe demands balance
But there isn’t any to be found

You get what you give
They’ve said it time and time again
I believed it at first
But I’ve started to have doubts
The scale isn’t balanced
Hasn’t been for a while

You get what you give
Good begets good
Evil begets evil
It seemed a simple truth
But now I’m not so sure
Could it actually be more nuanced than that?

If that were true would there still be pain and strife?
Would only the evil get cancer?
Would the good be destined for a blessed life?
The universe is random, putting jumbled pieces together
It strives for balance
But it isn’t always attainable

You get what you give
That’s the way it should work
But it’s better in theory
As with most things in this world
Concepts that had been conceived from a pure heart
But ones that have been perverted by humanity

You get what you give
I wished I believed
But everyone’s so fucked up
For karmic balance, for utopia, for unity
Oh, woe is me. Oh, woe is me.
What’s come of humanity?