Tag Archives: Greatness

Changing, Discovery, Dreaming, Greatness, Growth, Healing, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness

No Minutes Left to Spare

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“Time flies when you’re having fun,” so the saying goes. But I’m not so sure that this doesn’t just describe life in general. As children, each year felt like an eternity to us. That was to be expected. We hadn’t lived that long so we didn’t have a good gauge for the passage of time. Each day felt long because in comparison to what we had experienced it actually was a long time. But alas, those days are long gone. So as we get older the years start feeling shorter. Now that the years feel shorter, it seems that time moves too fast. Is there any way to slow it down?

If only… But life is finite. With a beginning and an end. No one lives forever, and no one can defeat death. The time will come for us some day. Will we make the most of it before it comes? That’s a question I ask myself all the time. Will I make an impact before I go? Will I leave a legacy behind? My body will rot and decay, but my legacy should live on for years or decades or centuries (hopefully). As the years go by, I find that my priorities have shifted. What used to be my focus, I find nowadays is something that I don’t care all that much about. I used to worry so much about the opinions of others, but as I’ve matured I find that the best way to change someone’s opinion of you is to give them reasons to think of you differently. 

However, despite whatever positive changes you are able to enact in your life, some people will still dislike you, some people will still be jealous of you. It’s inevitable. No one in the world will ever be universally loved—it’s a hopeless endeavor. That’s why it’s no longer my focus. I’m not trying to become more loved. I’m trying to become a better person. I want those around me to thrive because success breeds success. Seeing others being great motivates and inspires. Encouraging your loved ones to be the best that they can be keeps you locked in, helps you maintain your drive. There will be some in your life that will put their best efforts into tearing you down. Those aren’t people that you need, they’re destined to be miserable so long as they’re splitting their focus between watching/judging others and bettering themselves. 

Unfortunately, those haters aren’t always the easiest to ignore. But know that their barbs will help you develop thicker skin. Criticism hurts at first, but gets easier to bear as long as you keep honing your craft. The better you get at what you do, the less hate a shit talker is able to spew. Their arguments will soon lose weight, and you’ll be able to prove them wrong. Of course, proving someone wrong isn’t the goal, continuous growth and improvement is. In order to continue on, you need to stay focused. Easier said than done. But if you’re passionate about something you won’t have much trouble doing what it takes to pursue your dreams and aspirations doggedly. You will eventually find yourself reaching greater heights.

Success more often than not will not reveal itself immediately, but that doesn’t mean that your toil is pointless and isn’t going to pay off. You need to be patient. It takes concentrated time and effort to pick something up off the ground. It takes time for fruit to grow. You need to water and nurture the seed. You need to work for the best things in life. You look for blessings not miracles. The way I see it, blessings won’t be plentiful if you don’t do your part. In order to live an abundant life you have to work hard. It sounds simple but I wish it’s something I would’ve known earlier on in life. 

Unfortunately, it took a long time for me to grow up. I don’t think I was challenged enough as a kid, at least not in the right ways. School came easy to me, and that was the only thing that my parents really cared about. I was able to half-ass things and still get good results. I wasn’t forced to do extracurricular activities or find a job—my parents weren’t particularly hard on me. So I didn’t really need to face my adversity head-on. Running and hiding like I’d always done had always been an option for me. And that’s the path that I chose to take time after time. It was the easy way out. Which, as I’ve said before, provides short-term relief, but doesn’t resolve any issues. Everything was going to eventually catch up to me—lo and behold, that’s what happened once I reached high school. Half assing things no longer netted me A’s and B’s, instead I was getting B’s, C’s and the occasional D. I suspect that this sudden change in results played a role in how depression and anxiety were able to needle their way into my life. 

My sudden inability to achieve good results without hard work had sapped my confidence. But really, what had I been expecting to happen here? That I could coast for the rest of my life? I had been blessed with good luck up til then, I just didn’t realize it. I didn’t realize that luck and innate talent wasn’t always going to outweigh effort—in fact, more likely than not it’s the opposite. Arriving at this crossroads could’ve been the catalyst for significant change, but regrettably it wasn’t. I didn’t have the ability to motivate myself to put my all into everything I did. Instead of putting in my best effort to try to get the best results, I instead resolved myself to put in a little more effort in order to get passable results. Again, a short-term fix for a long-term issue. It’s no wonder that I had been trapped in a cycle of mediocrity for so many years after college. I had unknowingly set myself up for that, conditioning myself to accept average as a reasonable thing to strive for. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. Who aspires to be the world’s most average doctor, or athlete, or what have you? Like c’mon…

But what did I know? I was just a kid trying to find his way in the world, without the proper amount of guidance in certain areas. I had good parents, but like any other human, they had their weaknesses, made their mistakes, and were misguided in some ways. Well, we live and we learn. As I’ve said before, we’re all just figuring things out as we go along. And I can’t be upset about it, because no one’s really at fault. Oftentimes we fall into the trap of feeling the need to assign blame for everything that happens in our lives. But sometimes there’s no one to blame, and that’s perfectly okay. Life is random, and at times it unfolds in unexpected ways. That being said, I’m grateful for everything I’ve gone through—my triumphs and my failures, times that were easy and times that were tough, the right decisions and the wrong decisions. My life is a culmination of everything that has happened beforehand. I don’t regret anything that’s happened or the mistakes that I’ve made, because everything came with a lesson.

I do however, regret my inaction during moments that could’ve been monumental. I regret the passivity I displayed in letting life play out around me. I regret the period of time when I had stopped dreaming and aspiring. Occasionally, I find myself hoping that time would slow to make up for the years that I had lost. But you can’t change the past and you can’t slow time, so I’m left wondering, “what if?” What if I had not stopped dreaming? What if I had found my calling earlier? What if I had been happy as a teenager? What could I have done with my life instead of wasting a decade moping around and feeling sorry for myself?

It doesn’t hurt to wonder about these things, but it’s best not to dwell on them. You are who you are as a result of past experiences, good and bad. Your adversity and how you deal with it show the world your character. Without my struggles with depression and anxiety I wouldn’t be the same man. My circumstances are not unique to me, but the sequencing of my journey is. I might not’ve found my healing if I hadn’t gone through my hardships. I might not’ve realized that I needed to make an impact on those around me if I hadn’t spent so much time wasting my time and my talent. I might not’ve found what confidence looks like if I hadn’t struggled with self-image. Everything that happened in my life needed to happen in order for me to find my way.

Once you’ve found your footing, the next step is to move forward. To do better. To seek greatness. To be a blessing rather than a burden. What exactly that entails is up to individual interpretation. For me that means maximizing my potential, sharing what I’ve learned with others, giving back to the world, contributing knowledge or meaningful conversation. As I approach my 32nd birthday, I am no longer able to use my youth or my naivety as an excuse. I can’t just sit by in the background and let the world move around me. I need to add meaning and substance to it. I need to do my part, play my role in society. I feel that I have a duty to myself and to others to be a better person now than I was before. 

If onwards & upwards isn’t the goal, I don’t really know what to tell you. If you’re not growing, you’re either stagnating or you’re deteriorating. Neither of them are desirable to me. Stagnation feels comfortable for a time, but will eventually hinder your growth. Comfort is good but is a slippery slope that leads to apathy and inaction. That’s not a place I want to be ever again. I’ve already spent too much time there; I don’t have any minutes left to spare. I can’t make up for the time that I wasted, but I can make sure that I don’t waste anymore of it. I can’t change the past, but I can change the future. I can’t undo mistakes, but I can make sure I don’t repeat them. I’m not old, but I’m not getting any younger. I need to make the most of my opportunities, there’s no guarantee of more in the future. We might know what we want, but we don’t know what life has in store for us. Work hard and dream big. Never stop learning, never stop improving. A better life starts with a better you. There’s no time like the present to try to find what you’re looking for. There’s no onwards & upwards without moving forward.

Art, Greatness, Growth, Love, Poetry, Wellness

In Awe of You

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I’m starstruck
Love stricken
In awe of you
Someone to rely on when times are blue
Without you I wouldn’t know what to do
I’m in awe of you

We’re star-crossed
Fated to be together
Destined for each other
Better together, forever and ever
No match better, promised to be
Always gonna be you and me

No one will come between us
Nothing will push us apart
We’re in it for the long haul
With you til the end
Was and is and forever will be my best friend
I’m in awe of you

I’ve seen beauty before
But no one so beautiful
Mind, body & soul
We make each other whole
You are mine and I am yours
Forever I stand in awe of you

I stand in awe of you
You push me to heights I never thought I would see
Greatness radiates from your body
Inspiring each other to be the best we can be
Striving for greatness makes the most of our ability
I stand in awe of you for it is you who completes me

Changing, Discovery, Greatness, Growth, Healing, Hope, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness

A Better Way

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I won something recently. Not words that I have had the pleasure of saying often in my life, but I get to say them now. I won a free vacation to Disney World off of the radio, not all expenses are included (I still have to pay for food, souvenirs, baggage fees, etc.), but I can live with that. A free trip is a free trip. So, how does that make me feel? Excited, overjoyed, and grateful to say the least. But I also feel that it’s deserved. My hard work paid off. My dedication to my craft, my devotion to my mental health, the continued change in my outlook all played a part in manifesting such a blessing. Although it was luck of the draw, luck doesn’t have everything to do with it.

I used to believe that good things didn’t happen to me because I just wasn’t that lucky of a person. But the older I get, the more I realize that perspective matters much more than you would think it does. The Universe reads your energy, it feels your aura. I believe in karma. I believe in reaping what you sow. I believe that optimism often leads to blessings and pessimism often leads to misfortune. Yes, good things can happen to bad people, and bad things can happen to good people. Life is unpredictable—shit happens. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t affect the outcome. You are in control of your own life. I know sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes you feel railroaded along, living out a life that’s dictated to you. You need to break out of that. Release yourself from the chains that bind.

Your life is your own. Your choices are your own. Your reactions and your emotions are your own. Life won’t always go as planned, however. Things will not always happen the way that you envision. You are the master of your own life, but you are not the master of the universe. You need to control what you can control, and let the chips fall where they may. If things don’t play out as anticipated, you need to be willing to adapt. The most successful people are able to transition to plans B or C if need be. But that doesn’t mean you pursue your goals expecting failure. You expect to be successful, but you acknowledge that things could turn out differently. You mentally plan ahead in case that happens.

I know I say this a lot, but it starts with changing your mindset. Perspective is a powerful thing to have in this world, but it’s often overlooked. For someone who’s depressed, I know advice like, “just be happy,” is neither helpful nor encouraging, but it actually has some truth and some value to it. Yes, it’s a very misguided thing to say (please don’t ever say this to anyone)—it oversimplifies things drastically. But changing your perspective is the basic premise. That’s the basis for real change. I know that firsthand. The person I was in high school and who I am now are strangers. You couldn’t have found two people more different, but they are linked. I couldn’t have become who I am now, without being who I was then. But I didn’t just change for the sake of it. I didn’t make a conscious decision to be different. I changed because I needed to. I needed to learn how to adapt. It was survival of the fittest within me. Everything that made me stronger, that made me a better human remained. Everything that didn’t was phased out. And I am better for it.

My passions, my interests, my moral compass over time have changed to some extent, but the core of who I was still remains. I talk differently, I act differently, and I think differently now—that comes from confidence and a better understanding of myself. As you know, none of this would’ve been possible if I hadn’t hit rock bottom. If I hadn’t seen the darkness, I wouldn’t have come to the light. If I hadn’t seen myself overcome the adversity, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. Early on in therapy, I had told my therapist that, “depression is something that will stick with me forever. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.” That statement couldn’t have been more wrong, and I’m thrilled that it turned out that way. Yes, my depression and my anxiety are things that I will have to cope with for the rest of my life, but I control them, they no longer control me. I’ve developed the tools necessary to ensure that I don’t let either sickness establish a foothold in my life.

As we get older, we’re supposed to get wiser. We’ve experienced more. We’re more knowledgable. We’ve had successes, and we’ve had failures. Everything that life threw at us was supposed to teach us. To grow us. To mold us. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case for everyone. I can say for certain that I didn’t do much growing in my early to mid 20s. I didn’t learn what I was supposed to learn. I didn’t change what I was supposed to change. I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. Instead, I made excuses. I lied to myself. I ignored my issues. I gave up easily. I lacked growth and improvement in my life because I didn’t put in the necessary effort. Circumstances didn’t change for me because my mindset hadn’t changed. I didn’t seek greatness, and I didn’t expect success. I expected sorrow and misery, so more often than not that’s what life gave me.

In order to get the most out of life you need to invest into it. You can only take away what you put in. If you spread positivity, you will reap the benefit. You will be rewarded and blessed beyond measure. Whereas, if you sow discord or toxicity, that negative energy will reflect back on you, sometimes multiplied. I’ll be the first to admit that for about a decade of my life I probably wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. Unfortunately, I didn’t know it at the time—I lacked self-awareness as I’ve touched on before—but I do have the benefit of hindsight. I can say for certain that 2023 Justin wouldn’t have enjoyed hanging out with 2016 Justin very much. My overall ethos has changed significantly; the two versions of myself likely aren’t compatible. Yes, I had some fun times back then, but the highs were high and the lows were low. I was unstable, not yet having the capability of living moment by moment. Bad moments turned into bad days turned into bad weeks turned into bad months. 

Each bad experience would tank my mood until the next good one perked it up again. The gap in between the peaks was oftentimes a few weeks or a few months, but there were times when it was a whole year. That’s obviously not a healthy way of living. Instead of taking it day by day or moment by moment, I went peak to peak, which didn’t prepare me well for the inevitable decline. Even though I knew how it would turn out, I was slow to make changes in my life. The rare instances when I did, I usually reverted back to old ways pretty quickly. This often led me to the conclusion that I wasn’t capable of changing, and that my life was destined for more of the same and I was unable to alter its course. Of course, none of that is true. These are lies that the devil tells you to prevent you from living up to your potential. Preventing you from living abundantly and fruitfully. Preventing you from continuing your climb to greatness. Preventing you from becoming a better version of yourself each and every day.

I was seeking better results, but not changing my process. It felt like wasted effort because it was wasted effort. Circumstances would change temporarily but not make long-term impact because my mentality remained the same. I was still just as stubborn as I always had been. Still just as stuck in my ways. Still refusing to admit that I had issues or that I needed help. Still acting like I had all the answers, still just as proud. Things did not get better until I was willing to humble myself. If not for the adversity I went through, I’m not sure if that ever would’ve happened. They say that, “the first step to healing is admitting that you have a problem.” Which I don’t disagree with, but that’s not good enough for me. Plenty of people admit that they have issues, but it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do anything about it. Granted, everyone operates at their own pace. So, getting to Step 1 is still vital, but I would argue that getting to Step 2 is even more important.

It took me more than twenty-five years to get to Step 1. I tried to do things the same way over and over and over again. This amounted to nothing more than bashing my head against the same bloody brick for eternity. Why should I have expected anything different? It was proven time and time again that my way of doing things wasn’t working. However, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know what it meant to be happy, to be grateful, to yearn for life. To find meaning. If I wanted real change to happen, I needed to overhaul my entire thought process. I needed to tear down the walls before I could build them back up again. The foundation wasn’t sound, so it was non-sensical to keep adding to it. 

I learned this early on in therapy. Like life, you only get out of it what you put into it. If you’re not honest with yourself and with your therapist, you won’t see real results. You need to be vulnerable, there’s no way around it. Early on in our sessions, I remember being hesitant to share fully, but as time went on I became more open. And with that, I saw more meaningful changes in my life. I started reacting differently and thinking differently. I started to become more grateful. Started to count my blessings. Started to become more in-tune with my emotions. I finally started to understand who I am and what I stand for. How I think. How the world works. With this came confidence and optimism. The things I needed to release me from my fear.

It took me a long time to get to Step 1, but Step 2 followed soon after. It wasn’t easy either, though it seems that way. It took molding and shaping for more than a year to get me to that point. At first, my happiness was manufactured—I had to convince myself that there were things I could be proud of—but like everything else, I was able to chip away at it and change it for good. I needed to heal first before I could move on with my life. Before I could find what I was looking for, I needed to know what I was looking for. But before I could do that, I needed to know who I was, and know who I could become. Where I came from is not the same as where I am going. Where I came from was bitter, and salty, and gloomy. For a while, it was the only life I knew. It was my past, and I thought it was also my future. But I’ve been shown a better way. 

One can argue that winning a free trip was all luck. But I’m not going to do so. I know better than that now. None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t changed my perspective. If I had maintained my defeatist mentality I was in for more pain, disappointment, and heartbreak. A lot of it. My life was wrought with misfortune because I expected it from the Universe. My dour outlook and my self-pity did me no favors. My negative energy limited all outcomes—the good in my life had a cap, but the bad was limitless. Each day, I putzed around hoping for blessings and miracles, but not sowing the seeds. If I wanted better in my life, I needed to do better. Positivity is spread easily, but so too is negativity. You have a choice. You can see things half full or you can see things half empty. I know which one I’m choosing. I’m choosing the better way.

Art, Discovery, Dreaming, Greatness, Growth, Hope, Mindfulness, Poetry

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

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Keeping pushing on, keep pushing forward
Reaching onwards, reaching upwards
Never stop, never give in
Never compromise

The journey continues
The dream never dies
The torch is lit
The fire still burns

I want more, I want better
I am striving in every endeavor
I seek greater, I seek treasure
I am blessed beyond measure

Head down, I work hard for what I have
Tunnel vision, I’m focused on what’s ahead
Focused & determined
I see the light at the end of the tunnel

It beckons to me, leads me on
It stands there as a beacon, guiding me towards
The light at the end is my reward
The prize is there firmly within reach

Years of toil, years of pain
Years without tangible gain
Only prepared me for a greater reward
I reap what I sow

Effort & ambition
Determination & grit
There may not have been recognition
But your blood, sweat, and tears will pay off

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel
Not the end, but only the beginning
A new chapter, a new story
One that’s not yet written

You’re a trailblazer, a warrior
You forge your own path
You keep on keeping on when the going gets tough
Through sheer will you find what you’re looking for

Years of effort, years of rugged determination
You worked hard for every good thing
Open your hands, receive your reward
You deserve every blessing

Brokenness, Changing, Discovery, Dreaming, Greatness, Growth, Healing, Hope, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness

Fear Itself

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FDR once said that, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” A statement from ninety years ago, but a true one if ever there was one. Some may see it as a reason not to put stock in such quotes, but I’m not one of them. A thing of the past isn’t merely a thing of the past. There are lessons to be learned, knowledge that can be gained, advice that can be heeded. Unfortunately, in this era of heightened media illiteracy rife with fake news, “Tiktok Doctors”, and lack of fact-checking, there is a tendency to whitewash the past. 

History is history. We have no cause to question it. Yes, oftentimes accounts are skewed in a certain way, but that’s how it goes. All media coverage is meant to convey a certain narrative. It’s our responsibility to sift through and decipher between fact and bullshit. But sometimes we go too far. We start putting weight in conspiracy theories, and we begin questioning sound science and substantiated history. The moon landing happened. The holocaust wasn’t a hoax. The earth isn’t flat. Just because you saw otherwise on Tiktok or YouTube doesn’t make it true. There’s no veracity to those claims. In a day & age where anything can become viral, you have to understand that some things are said just for clicks and views. Don’t believe everything you see, and don’t believe everything you hear. 

However, you need to find a balance. All things in life require it. Like I said last time, you can’t have a dichotomy without both sides of the equation. You need to have a healthy amount of questioning, and a healthy amount of believing. You don’t want paranoia to fuel you, but you also don’t want to follow blindly. They didn’t really tell us this growing up, but adulthood often amounts to walking a tightrope. Things are rarely black and white. That’s an oversimplification of how the world works. “Everyone is a hero in their own story,” is a piece of advice that’s often given to aspiring authors. But don’t think for a second that just because it’s a tidbit used for creating fiction doesn’t mean that it doesn’t also have real-world application. People aren’t just good or evil for the sake of it—there’s more nuance than that. Morality aside, most people do have a justification for doing what they do. I’m not arguing whether it’s right or wrong, but everyone has their reasons.

Unfortunately, that also means that many people love to prove themselves right. They’ll pull quotes out of context to reinforce the points they are trying to make. This works a lot of the time, but it’s a disservice to all parties involved. It’s a manipulative tactic that helps people win arguments, but doesn’t necessarily unveil the truth. I think it’s safe to say that the most misquoted document is the Bible, but it’s not the only text to receive such treatment. We’ve heard people say often that, “I’d rather be feared than loved,” as if it’s a question of either/or. But that’s not what Machiavelli wrote in The Prince. The full quote says, “It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.” The second part of the sentence seems like a key piece to omit. Like me, Machiavelli was arguing that we must have balance. It’s not a question of this or that, it’s a question of how much of each. Be informed. 

That’s easier said than done, however. Misinformation runs rampant as technology advances. Some find it more convenient to retweet or share something before they factcheck it. It doesn’t take long to do the latter, but you need to train yourself to do so. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your ignorance. I’ve been through that before and it’s not a great feeling. I once had a boss use the butchered version of Machiavelli’s quote as a means of justifying his toxic behavior. He used fear as a way of keeping us suppressed, preventing us from speaking out about the culture. It was his way of keeping his foot on our necks. And it worked. Like many others before me, I let him walk all over me, because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know what my worth was. I didn’t know how much respect I was entitled to. And I didn’t know that I deserved better than what he gave me.

Despite how much of an asshole he was, I still appreciate the effect he had on my life. If I hadn’t worked for him, I wouldn’t have experienced the lowest of the low. I wouldn’t have known how it felt to be used and thrown away like human garbage. I wouldn’t have known how miserable it was to feel like you were stuck. Without adversity to overcome I wouldn’t have overcame. Every experience in life can be used for your benefit—the good, the bad, and the ugly. All things come with a lesson or a takeaway. I firmly believe that you are destined to repeat the same mistakes or go through the same hardships if you don’t learn what you were supposed to learn. At first, it’s easy to say that, but harder to put it into action. But like all habits, it becomes easier over time.

Not all lessons are learned at the time of struggle, however. Some things can be learned after the fact. Hindsight is oftentimes quite informative. But living in the moment and thinking/looking ahead are equally as important. We have a past, a present, and a future for a reason. If we are to live as abundantly as possible, we must spend time thinking about all three. Not equally of course, but all three matter. Some people choose not to focus on the past, instead looking only towards their future. Others ignore both, focusing on the now, looking only for instant gratification. And still others can’t help but dwell on the past, regretting things that were done or going over different outcomes in their head. Overemphasis on any one of these areas can prove to be detrimental. 

I’ve overemphasized all three at various points in my life. But the thing that proved to be the most damaging was my failure to make the connection between all three. I thought of each phase separately, not coming to the realization that they’re interwoven in a way that you can’t think about one without the others. I didn’t yet have the ability to reflect on my past to inform my future, to use my vision for the future to dictate my present, to do the hard work in the present to set myself up for future success. None of this meant anything to me because I didn’t have a clear sense of what I was capable of. I lived a life of passivity, letting outside circumstance dictate how my story unfolded. I didn’t live the life I deserved because I had lost sight of what I thought that was. I didn’t seek out better opportunities because I was held back by my fear. At times of adversity I either ran or I hid. It was oftentimes the easy way out. It usually worked but was only a temporary fix. These issues still ran deep. By not drilling to the root, I gave these seemingly innocuous things room to fester and grow. The small things stacked on top of each other, and became something bigger. Ignoring them didn’t solve anything.

But it gave me peace of mind. “Out of sight, out of mind,” as they say. This mentality proved more damaging than I ever would’ve anticipated, but it drew me in because it had seemed so innocent. I was too afraid to face my issues head-on. I lacked mental fortitude back then, if I’d had some I would’ve realized that ignoring my problems was not a legitimate coping mechanism. However, if I hadn’t been led astray by that misconception I never would’ve become the person that I am today. I needed the adversity, the mistakes, and the lapses in judgment. I never would’ve learned the right way to do things if I hadn’t tried out the wrong ways first. We’re young and we’re dumb—we will make mistakes, but we have to learn from them. 

Something that’s stuck with me these past four or five years is that you can’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the biggest step you need to take in order to live your life the way it’s meant to be lived. You can’t have a long-lasting, loving relationship if it lacks trust. You’ll have trouble making close friends if you don’t open up. You can’t get the most out of therapy if you refuse to dig into the past. It’s difficult to have a realistic outlook on your life trajectory if you’re not open and honest with yourself. Like many others, I ignored these things for far too long. I was conditioned to avoid the negative in my life. Anything that was too painful to think about, I refused to think about. I ignored it hoping that it would go away. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work. 

Circumstances cannot and will not change unless you’re willing to work at it. You can’t expect better from your life unless you’ve put in the effort. People don’t become superstars overnight. We don’t see how long or how hard others have toiled, but I can guarantee that the greatest role models have put their all into whatever endeavor they chose. Everyone walks a different path; each story is unique. But there is one thread in common. All those who seek greatness have made a conscious decision to no longer let fear dictate their lives. They have moved on from their past trauma. They have learned from their mistakes. They think about their future but live in the moment. They make decisions now that will pay off later. They don’t sit around waiting for miracles to happen; they plant their seeds, knowing that if they keep nurturing them there will be a bountiful harvest. They count their blessings, but know that more are yet to come. The best things in life come at a cost, but I assure you it will be worth it.

In order to move on from your past trauma, you need to reopen the wound. It hurts at first, but you’ll be better for it. You can’t tack on another band-aid or continue to ignore it, it will never heal that way. Drill down to the root. Fix your problems from the ground up. Relive your past so that you can have a better future. There’s no other way to move on. I know it’s scary, but everyone goes through adversity. Take a deep breath, and release yourself from your fear. Do not fear the pain, embrace it. You’ve already been through this once, and you made it out alive. Go back in and draw out the lessons. Your fear does not control you; you control your fear. It is your master no longer. You are destined for greatness. You are meant to show the world your worth. You will fear no longer, because you know who you are, you know what you’re capable of. You’ve shown it to yourself, now show it to the world.