Tag Archives: Loss

Brokenness, Heartbreak, isolation, Loss, Poetry

On My Own Again

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This was always going to be the outcome, wasn’t it?
I don’t know how to love
I don’t know how to give
I don’t know how to be good to someone else
I can’t even be good to myself

On my own again
Nowhere to be and nowhere to go
I’ve never been a friendly person
I’ve never been all that nice
I tried to give you a part of me
And you always gave me all of you
It was never going to be enough

I don’t know what it means to sacrifice
I don’t know how to show love
I don’t know how to be a human being
I don’t know how to be a friend, son, lover
It’s all so fucked up

I know that I need to do better
I want to believe that I can
But you gave me so many chances
And I’ve used them all up

I said time and time again
That I would do better
That I would try harder
I know I fucked up
I let the fire go out
I let the relationship die

You put the blame on me
And how can I deny that?
I needed to be better
I needed to show growth
Show you that things could change

But zilch, nada, nope
Still the same old me
Unable to love, unable to provide
You deserve someone better
Someone that doesn’t lie
Doesn’t lie to you, doesn’t lie to himself
Doesn’t lie to the world

So I’m on my own again
Wanting to be better than who I’ve always been
But unable to do so
I should let you go
Because I deserve to be alone

Loss, Nature, Poetry

Lost at Sea

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Waves crash along the cliffside
Pulling ships out to sea
Winds swirl, churning the waters
A torrential downpour dampens the ground beneath it
Fearsome clouds darken the sky

A storm is coming, worse than we’ve seen
Greater than we could’ve anticipated
Without signal, without warning
The end is imminent
There is no salvation, there is no hope

The ocean will bury us in a watery grave
No one to remember us 
No one to mourn
Lost to the world
Drifting out farther and farther

The water is an unrelenting mistress
Pulling us out, taking us from our homes
We sailed out, seeking glory, seeking riches
The waves were calm when we departed
A gentle breeze, sun as far as the eye could see

But it came upon us swiftly and suddenly
We lost many before we even knew what it was
It wasn’t just a storm, not a rogue wave
The gods were not pleased
We had cursed the heavens

Righteous fury was our reward
No rest for the wicked
For wicked were we
We had plundered and pillaged
Our wealth ill-gained

We had aimed to return as heroes
But we died in vain
Lost at sea, no more than a drop in the ocean
Lost at sea, and our kin would never know
Lost at sea, buried in the depths

The ocean is a cruel and cold mistress
One that never forgives, but often forgets
No one remembers, and no one knows
No tales of glory, no tales of heroes
We’re lost to the world

LOST AT SEA, AND ONLY THE SEA KNOWS

Art, Changing, Discovery, Loss, Poetry, Writing

No Longer

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You were once my hero
You were once a saint
Worshipped by the people
No harder worker than you
Revered and exalted
Lifted on high

You were once our hero
No better role model for the younger generation
Venerated and worshipped
Crème de la crème
But those days are gone
Those days are over

You are not my hero
You are not my saint
You were once my everything
Who I modeled myself after
Who I wanted to be
You are now my nothing
And I don’t know what they see
Not a shining example to follow
Not who I want to be

The fame went to your head
The success made you arrogant
The quality of work dropped
But you were too blind to see
Refusing to acquiesce to anything 
But your desired to pump content
Your desire to bloat your catalog

You were once my hero
You were once my saint
But you are nothing
No longer anything to me

You were once my hero
And that’s all you’ll ever be
Someone I looked up to once before
But never again
Someone I modeled my life after
But no longer
A has been, an also-ran, washed up

No longer a paragon, no longer the ideal
I’ve outgrown my need for you
You’ve outgrown your use
You may influence other youth
But for me, I will find a different truth

Art, Brokenness, Loss, Nature, Poetry

Where Darkness Lies

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On the road again
On a journey to the unknown
We started out with high hopes
But didn’t know where we would go
We thought we would trailblaze, but didn’t know how
We were unprepared for what was to come, nothing for it now
Went forth with the understanding: learn along the way
We failed to realize that it only made us easy prey
On the road again
Going where darkness lies
On the road again
With no end point in mind
We went forth with high hopes
Thinking us pioneers
Thinking us wise
Thinking we knew better than nature
But in truth, we were blind
We went forth thinking we were prepared
for what life threw at us
We thought we could influence the scenery around us
We thought… We thought… We thought…
But it was not enough
Wherever we may roam, darkness soon follows
A blight on the land, a pox on every man
The path ahead is where darkness lies
The path ahead is full of sorrow
The path ahead, the path ahead
Full of misery, full of pain
Our good intentions were just that
We thought we’d make a difference
We thought we’d do better
We thought we knew what was best
But we knew nothing
Just another colonist thinking we knew what was right
Just another colonist fucking up daily life
On the road to misery, we didn’t know we were headed
Spreading famine and misfortune, death’s angel
Territorial and possessive, claiming that which isn’t ours
Onward we may roam, but darkness is bound to follow
Where we go is where darkness lies
The burden of man is draining on the land
Each man is responsible, would be better off dead
On the road again to where darkness lies
On the path of darkness is where all hope dies

Growth, Healing, Loss, Poetry

War Eternal

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A fight for inner peace
Striving for better
Wanting, waiting, wishing for a hero
A fight within, turmoil without
Trying to do better, but not knowing how
A sensitive spirit, thin skin, weak flesh
No resolve, lacking mental fortitude
Not sound of body, not sound of mind
Not willing to leave a past life behind
Not willing to compromise, not willing to heed advice
The war eternal rages on

Never to end, never to conclude
Two spirits different as different can be
Two spirits never to see: eye to eye again
Never to be: close together again
Never to be, never to be
The war eternal rages on

A fight for understanding
Looking for meaning
What was was, now is lost
Never to be rekindled, never to be healed
Never to be mended
Never to be, never to be
One soul lost, veering down the wrong path
One soul lost, stubborn as can be
The war eternal rages on

War within, war without
One looking for meaning, striving for better
The other refusing to change
One seeking greatness, looking to be the best they can be
The other wanting things to stay the same
Wallowing in mediocrity, stagnant and unmoving
One seeking knowledge, wanting to know more
The other thinking that they know all
The war eternal rages on

Never to conclude, never to end
Two souls on divergent paths
Stars never to align
Never to be, never to be
Ships passing in the night
Once friends, never again
The war eternal rages on