Tag Archives: people

Brokenness, Family, people, Poetry, Reflections, Relationships, Writing

There but Not There

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All my life I’ve been searching to fill the hole in my heart
You offered what you could, but it wasn’t enough
I was always wanting more. Wishing that you were someone else
It was unfair to you, but I didn’t know any better
I was only a young pup
Trying to find my way in the world and not having much luck
I needed a role model in my life
Someone to guide me through the downs and the ups

You were there but not there
Sorta in the picture, a financial rock
But emotionally unavailable, totally distant
There to clothe us, house us, feed us
I guess you thought that it was enough

But it was hard to read you
You always felt closed off
You were never there when I needed you
I could never reach you
You were there but not there

At least you provided me with a privileged life
But I could never look past your flaws
Was never content with what you gave
I’ve really been spoiled in that way
I’m lacking in gratitude, I acknowledge that full well
I wish it wasn’t that way

I often miss the forest for the trees
At the end of the day, you gave me all that you could give
For someone else that would’ve been enough
But I wanted and needed emotional support
Something that you couldn’t give

You were there but not there
Gave me what you could give
Instead of appreciating it I always looked for something more
Something that you couldn’t give
I realize that now
But it feels like it’s too late

All this time I was looking for a type of love you weren’t capable of
But you loved me in your own way
You gave me what you could give
I should’ve been content with that
Instead of chasing the type of love that I wanted
It wasn’t gonna happen
You were always there but not there
Physically close, but emotionally distant
All this time I’ve been chasing what you couldn’t give

Brokenness, Doubt, isolation, Loss, Mental Health, people, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love

Learning to Fly

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They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
To me, that’s just an excuse
It sounds better than, “honestly, I’d rather be alone”
No matter the case, you think you’d be better off on your own
I’m not here to judge, not here to condone
That’s not my business. I’m gonna mind my own

Not so hard to do, considering I’m often alone
Ignored, overlooked, pushed to the side
That’s always been the vibe
Sick of the disrespect, sick of the bad times
I’m letting go, freeing myself
Not gonna continue letting others dictate my worth
I know what I’m capable of, I know what I deserve

They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
I love myself too much to let them keep getting away with it
So I’m letting go, freeing myself
Putting distance between me and them
It’s the best thing for me
It’s the only way for me to find peace
Something that was taken from me

I’m letting go, saying goodbye
Finally, after all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’ve always been alone, always been on my own
Always thought I wanted to be part of a community
I thought I wanted to find my place in society
But perhaps that’s not what I needed, not what was for me

Maybe this is what was meant for me
Flying solo, flying freely
Unchained and unfettered
Free from the constraints of others’ expectations
After all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’m better on my own

I’m coming to peace
There’s no real place for me in society
But that’s perfectly fine
I’ll still continue to learn how to fly
They say that, “if you love something, you should let it go”
I love myself so much that I’m willing to let go

I’ve come to accept that I’m better on my own
Finally, after all this time, I’m learning to fly
I’ve grown weary and tired of being told what I’m capable of
I’m not going to continue letting them dictate my worth
Fuck that noise, I won’t let you limit me
I’ll learn how to fly, and I’m gonna thrive

Art, Brokenness, Changing, Heartbreak, Loss, people, Poetry, Relationships

Growing Apart

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You ain’t gonna do this to me again
I’m not gonna let you keep hurting me like you do
I’ve shown you nothing but loyalty
But no one is ever loyal to me
I’m tired of it
Just so worn down
So damn sick of it all

I wish I didn’t feel this way
So utterly betrayed
But what can I say?
How can I feel any other way?
I’ve watched your actions
And this is what you’ve shown
We were together once, but now I’m on my own

You can say that I didn’t give enough
Or I didn’t care enough
Or that I didn’t do enough for you
But I gave you everything I could at the time
I just wasn’t equipped back then to love the way that I do (now)
I didn’t have the tools to give you what you needed

I’m afraid it’s too late now
The ship has sailed and we’ve gone too far
We’ve drifted too far apart to rescue who we were
What we had once is now too far gone
I can’t believe it came to this:
Saying goodbye
Bidding farewell to what we once had

This whole time I thought you’d be by my side
That we would lift each other up, build a life and thrive
I didn’t think it’d come to this
Get to a point where I’d question your loyalty
Come to a place where I’d have to decide between you or me

I never thought we’d drift this far
Find ourselves at a crossroads where we no longer aligned
I’m sorry but I have to do what’s best for me
Here’s where we part ways
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine

There’s no way for us to keep growing together
So we’ll only just grow apart
Best if we just cut ties now
It’ll only get harder moving forward
Might as well just call it quits
I don’t wanna do it, and it’ll hurt my soul
But I don’t see any other way for this to end
Where we end is where I begin

Art, people, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love

More Than Acquaintances/Less Than Friends

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I don’t know where it all went wrong
It had seemed so good while it lasted
But somewhere along the way something changed
Some obstacle came between us
Something got in our way

I thought we could become closer
But I guess I was sorely mistaken
This is the closest we’ll ever get
More than acquaintances but less than friends
So what does that make us?

I gave you everything I got, and I got less in return
I gave you my all, but you only gave me some
I feel like I give more than I get
Invest too much of my time and energy
But for me they don’t invest

It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last
Perhaps I’ll learn my lesson before the next
I give too much and I get too little
I thought this would work out
I thought we could be close

We’re more than acquaintances but less than friends
What does that make us?
I thought we could be closer
Tried to put in my all
It’s evident to me now that this is our ceiling

Stuck in no man’s land with nowhere left to go
I’ll learn my lesson eventually—invest in you less
Use my time and energy to build myself up
Focus on what I need to do
With or without your help

My path is what matters most
And my needs should come first
If I don’t prioritize myself then how will I get what I deserve?
I’m working towards something
And I’ll get what I earn

I need to put my head down and get to work
It seems I’m wearing myself too thin
I gave you all of me, and you only gave me something
I can’t do it anymore
It’s not right for how hard I’ve worked

I need to focus on myself
Keep working towards my goals
Maybe we’ll intersect again
And I’ll keep cheering you on
But don’t expect me to give you everything, not anymore

Art, Family, isolation, Loss, people, Poetry, Wellness

Can’t Turn Back Time

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No matter what we do we can’t turn back time
We might dwell on the past
Or hold onto something that’s been lost
But whatever we do, we can’t turn back time

I wish things were different
I wish we could have what we once had
But we’ve grown apart
There’s no looking back

I’m trying to let go
I know it’s for the best
But I keep getting sucked back in
I keep falling for the same trap

We’re not right for each other
The gap between us is too far to span
We started drifting years ago
And before we knew it, we had gotten so far

Too far to swim back
Too far to reach out
Too far to compromise
We can’t turn back

What we once had is lost
Never to be felt again
A chasm has grown between us
An endless abyss full of darkness

You and I are too different now
Too different to re-align
Too much has changed
There’s been too much pain
Too much hurt, too much bitterness

We can’t turn back time
Things will never be the same
We can’t have what we once had
Best if we go our separate ways

Too different to remain
I see things differently now
I hope you feel the same

When I was younger I didn’t know better
I followed the examples of my elders when I didn’t know my way
But as I grew older, I realized that things were no longer the same
You and I, we see things differently
The generation gap is a thing

I know who I am now
And I see things in a different way
We can’t turn back time
We can’t rediscover what was lost
Maybe we can find some common ground in the future
But I’m not gonna hold out hope