Tag Archives: Poetry

Changing, Growth, Healing, Mindfulness, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love, Wellness

Alive Once Again

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Rejuvenated, revitalized, revived
I feel alive again
For the first time in a while
I knew I would find myself again
It was never an issue of if, but rather of when
Deep down, for a while, I’ve known who I am
But over time I had lost sight of him again and again

Disillusioned, disenchanted, burnt out
Failing to live up to expectations time after time
But little did I know
How unreasonable I was being
Too hard on myself
Not giving myself enough credit
Selling myself short
Setting the bar way too high

Holding myself to so high a standard
That little by little I started to lose myself
Lose myself to the monster inside my mind
The critic inside was bleeding me dry
Taking so much out of me that soon there was nothing left
Before I knew it the passion had died

Sapped to such a degree that it was no longer fun
I have no one to blame but myself
Expected so much of myself
That I couldn’t see all the good I had done
Couldn’t appreciate the progress
It was never good enough
And I always wanted more

It isn’t a bad thing having such drive and ambition
But you have to be careful that you don’t overwork yourself
Every once in a while, take a step back
And see how far you’ve come
You might still have a long ways to go
But look at the progress!
It ain’t nothing
That’s a blessing in and of itself

So here I come
Feeling alive once again
Rejuvenated, revitalized, revived
I’ve since let go of the expectation (I was putting on myself)
And things seem to be smoother and easier
Now that I’ve let myself off the hook

Be good to yourself
Give yourself some credit
Show a little grace
You’re further along than you think you are
Just have a little faith

Brokenness, Depression, Doubt, Poetry

Not Good Enough

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“Not good enough”
The thought that keeps running through my mind
“Not good enough”
The feeling that I just can’t shake
I used to think I could do this
Used to have so much confidence
But it’s run dry
And my patience is wearing thin

“Not good enough”
I know it ain’t true
But the longer I go without the desired results
The more my confidence gets run through
There’s a hole in my tank
It’s leaking continuously
As much as I try to make daily deposits
I can’t help but see I’m in the red

I’m losing more than I’m gaining
Losing all the progress I made
I used to have enough left to be resilient
Used to be able to lose a little, but gain even more
But it seems I’m just not good enough
The intrusive thought keeps winning out

“Not good enough”
It used to be just a whisper
But the more that I lose
The louder the voices get
“Not good enough, not good enough”
The quarter-life crisis continues
I used to have a vision
Thought it was lined up with reality
Thought it was attainable
But it seems that I was wrong
Oh boy, was I wrong

“You’re just not good enough”
The voices continue to say
I wish I was still able to drown them out
But it’s been so long since I’ve made meaningful gains
Been so long since I got a win
Even the smallest of things
To prop me up, to make me feel okay
I dunno how much more of this I can take
I’m running on empty
Feels like I have one foot in the grave
“Not good enough,” the common refrain

Healing, Poetry, Sports, Writing

The Thrill of Victory

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Victory, it tastes so sweet
Like honey on my lips
Like the story is complete
An exciting season
An end to it all

The players energized the city
Gave it their all
Couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ending
They brought us together
They gave us hope
They made us feel welcomed
A brotherhood where we belonged

The life of a sports fan
Hard to understand, and tougher to explain
It’s a sickness inside of us
But I mean that in the best way
The love and passion and dedication
That the players have for the city
Can only be matched by what the city shows its players

I haven’t lived in the area in two and a half decades
But the city of Philly still lives inside of me
Green and white runs through my veins
Growing up, I never thought I would see the day
There was always so much heartbreak, so much pain
The thrill of winning the second one made all of it worth it
I never thought I would see the day

Last year there was so much talk when the season fell apart
Didn’t think we could recover so soon
But our boys pushed through the adversity
They bit down on their mouth piece and endured
A redemption story two years in the making

In many ways it embodies my spirit
I can’t be great without the greatness of others
Every day I endure and push through
I am not defined by my adversity
But rather how I learn and grow from it
How I come out on top

Victory, it tastes so sweet
Like honey on my lips
Like the story is complete
We didn’t let them define us
Tell us what we can and cannot do
If we just believe enough, we know we’ll come out on top

Art, Changing, Dreaming, Family, Greatness, Growth, Poetry, Writing

No Good Son

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Sometimes I feel like I’m a no good son
Don’t always treat others the way that they deserve
Don’t always respect the parents that gave me life
Don’t always cherish the time spent with family
Don’t always value the friendships that I have

Sometimes I feel like I’m a no good son
Taking too much for granted
Not taking advantage of my strengths and skillset
Not making the most of my opportunities
Sometimes it feels like I’m just wasting time

Although I know that it isn’t true
My time out of work has been of tremendous value
I’ve learned new skills and worked on my craft
The writer I am is leaps & bounds above the writer I was
And yet I still have to wonder

In the blink of an eye three years have past
Could I have come back last year?
Would things have turned out differently?
It’s been a year of disappointments
Could it all have been avoided?

But I won’t dwell too long
Because I have to move on
Twenty twenty-four wasn’t the year for me
But I will make the most of twenty twenty-five
Whatever I do, it’s gonna be the year that I thrive

Time to find a day job again, but I’m not giving up on my dream
I’d like to do more with my life than just merely survive
Sometimes I feel like I’m a no good son
Doing nothing but wasting my time
But I know it’s all a lie

No one said that being an artist is easy
It’s a life full of pain and hardship
One where sacrifices need to be made
I’ve been blessed and lucky to have the support that I have
Lord knows not everyone has that

I won’t ever know what it’s like to starve
What it’s like to create without the comfort of a home
But my family has given and given and given
It’s past time to pay it all back
To become financially independent once again

I will be a published author one day, but now is not that time
Adaptability and a willingness to pivot is the name of the game
I’ll find a way to support myself
Work by day, and write by night
Time to set aside my pride, and get back to the grind

Brokenness, Death, Heartbreak, Loss, people, Poetry

A Malevolent Sickness

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Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the terror
When will it end?

Humanity has a problem
Sick and vile, evil and corrupt
An obsession and a fetish with fucking shit up
We’re taught that, “violence isn’t the answer”
But is that enough?

Every day I wake up
And I turn on the news
Yet another story of someone shooting up a school
When will it end?
When is enough enough?
Is no one else fed up?

Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the heartache
When will it end?

Are our kids not important enough to us?
Do we not care enough?
Ban all automatic weapons
End of discussion, enough is enough
Such a weapon serves no other purpose than for killing en masse
Get that shit off the streets
Is that too much to ask?

Sick of all the violence
Sick of all the pain
Sick of all the sorrow
Here we go again

Come back and see
In another month or two
Yet another kid kills other kids in school
America has a problem
So evil and vile
So pervasive and ingrained in our culture and lifestyle
Until someone puts their foot down
Nothing is gonna change
So tell me, tell me, when will it end?