Tag Archives: Poetry

Brokenness, Depression, Loss, Poetry, Writing

(Scars) As the World Burns

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Sometimes I just wanna see the world burn
See it ground to dust so I don’t have to live in it anymore
Watch as the palaces crumble
And see the wicked get what they deserve

Let the righteous perish
So that we can start the whole thing over
The good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent
Let them all meet their demise

What does it matter?
We’ll all be dead in the end
We’ll all get what we deserve

But is that any way to live?
Mad at the world, and hating everyone in it?
When did I get so bitter?
When did I get so angry?
When did I lose all hope for meaningful change?

How did I get this way?
Where did all this hate stem from?
The root of it is this:
I’ve been hurt far too much
For far too long

Felt mistreated and misunderstood
Felt like I didn’t belong
That there was no place for me here

I’ve held out hope that things would turn out better
But it feels like the same story repeating over and over
I find my place and then I lose it
Pushed out, forced out, weaned away

I try to get over it
I try to just forget
But it seems the scars have already cut too deep
I will move on, but I won’t forget
I can’t forget, it’s impossible to forget

My scars, they are a part of me
Sometimes they drive me, sometimes they fuel me
Sometimes they hurt me, sometimes they anger me

A part of me wants to see the world burn
A part of me wants to see the towers crumble
See the wicked punished
And see those who persecuted me set ablaze

But the hatred in my heart only hurts me more
The anger I feel only gets in my way
Best to try to forgive and forget
But that’s the hardest task yet
My scars, they are a part of me
For better or for worse
Sometimes they will fuel me
But sometimes they will hurt

Poetry

Groundwork

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One day soon things will come together
One day soon I will fulfill my dreams
But the day won’t come if the work isn’t done
The day won’t come if I don’t put in my all

Set the groundwork
Build a foundation
Put in the effort into doing it the right way
Start from the ground up
And build on from there
You can’t skip steps if you want to get to where you wanna go

Set the groundwork
Build a foundation
Start from the beginning
Or things will fall apart
Master the basics first
And lay the groundwork
Without a foundation the building will collapse

Set the groundwork
Build a foundation
Do it the right way, not the fast way
It isn’t a race
Do what needs to be done
Brick by brick, one thing at a time

Slow and steady won’t win you the race
But it’ll get things done
Set the groundwork
Build a foundation
Sooner or later you’ll get to where you wanna go
It’ll be enough to test your resolve
It’ll make you question if this is truly what you want

But it’ll be worthwhile in the end
You built from the ground up
You set your foundation
And it’ll hold you up in the end

Art, Poetry

One Man Army

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It’s just me, myself, and I
Has been this way the whole time
It feels like I’m on my own
It feels like I’ve always been alone
A one man army
A man sent out to die

No one quite understands
No one knows who I am
What I’m working towards
Or where I stand

I’m just a one man army
Given no direction but sent on my way
Left out on an island
Told to just figure it out
You’ll find your way
“We’d like to help
But we don’t have the time”

Thanks a lot for nothing
It’s all just empty words
The people come and go
But the sentiment remains the same
I know when I’m not wanted
I’d best be on my way

One day I’ll get to where I wanna go
No thanks to any of you
Haters, doubters, non-believers, all of you
Never getting the support or the respect that I deserve
Told time and time again that, “I’ll be there for you”
But when I needed help
There was no one there to be found
Abandoned yet again

It’s the same old story
Repeated again and again
I’m a one man army
There’s no one on my side
Just me, myself, and I
Has been this way the whole time

One day I’ll get to where I wanna go
No thanks to any of you
I get more love from strangers
The people I don’t know support me more
One day I will learn
Stop making the same mistake over and over

One day I will find
That I didn’t need any of you in the end
One day I will thrive
A life built by me, myself, and I
No matter what you say
I will survive

Loss, Poetry, Relationships, Writing

Two Minds

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How can I have so much bitterness in my heart?
Angry and upset about someone I cared about for so long
I know we’ve had some issues in the recent past
I’m not afraid to admit that
I find that I’m still loyal to you
And would like to be until the end

But you need to do more, care more, give more
I feel like I’ve given you all I’ve got
And I haven’t received the same in return
At one point we saw eye to eye
But you’ve given me less and less
And I fear we’re drifting apart

I’d like to care less
I’d like to focus more on me
And spend less time on you
But even still I care about you, and want you still

The specter of disappointment lingers behind you
You haven’t met my expectations in a long while
We were giving as much to each other as we gave to ourselves
And I long for that still
I wish that were still the dynamic
But alas, things have changed

I accept that and it’s okay
I just have to approach with more caution
But my loyalty gets in the way
I can’t deprive myself of helping you
My feelings are mixed in that way

I still want to see things through
I still want to be good to you
But my bitterness gets in the way
I can’t seem to tame my rage
I can’t seem to overcome the pain of disappointment
Can’t seem to express to you the way that I feel

So this will have to do
I’m of two minds
I want to continue being good to you
But I also want to beat the shit out of you
I want to keep helping you
But what do I get out of it?
Increasingly less

I’m not asking for your undivided attention
Just for some in part
I’m not asking for your full commitment
Just for a little devotion
I’m not asking you to go along for the whole ride
Just that sometimes you would be by my side

Not asking for your love and affection
Just a brief moment of your time
I know you’re busy but I’ve set aside time for you
I expected you to do the same

I’m of two minds
Part of me wants to end it
I mean what’s in it for me?
But part of me doesn’t wanna rock the boat
We had something good for so long
I had only hoped for it to become more strong

It seems I must’ve misread the situation
I was much more devoted to you than you were to me
I sit here and long for what we once had
It seems like such a long time ago
Maybe we can recover and move on
Or maybe this is just a thing of the past

Art, people, Poetry, Self-Care, Self-Love

More Than Acquaintances/Less Than Friends

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I don’t know where it all went wrong
It had seemed so good while it lasted
But somewhere along the way something changed
Some obstacle came between us
Something got in our way

I thought we could become closer
But I guess I was sorely mistaken
This is the closest we’ll ever get
More than acquaintances but less than friends
So what does that make us?

I gave you everything I got, and I got less in return
I gave you my all, but you only gave me some
I feel like I give more than I get
Invest too much of my time and energy
But for me they don’t invest

It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last
Perhaps I’ll learn my lesson before the next
I give too much and I get too little
I thought this would work out
I thought we could be close

We’re more than acquaintances but less than friends
What does that make us?
I thought we could be closer
Tried to put in my all
It’s evident to me now that this is our ceiling

Stuck in no man’s land with nowhere left to go
I’ll learn my lesson eventually—invest in you less
Use my time and energy to build myself up
Focus on what I need to do
With or without your help

My path is what matters most
And my needs should come first
If I don’t prioritize myself then how will I get what I deserve?
I’m working towards something
And I’ll get what I earn

I need to put my head down and get to work
It seems I’m wearing myself too thin
I gave you all of me, and you only gave me something
I can’t do it anymore
It’s not right for how hard I’ve worked

I need to focus on myself
Keep working towards my goals
Maybe we’ll intersect again
And I’ll keep cheering you on
But don’t expect me to give you everything, not anymore