How can I have so much bitterness in my heart?
Angry and upset about someone I cared about for so long
I know we’ve had some issues in the recent past
I’m not afraid to admit that
I find that I’m still loyal to you
And would like to be until the end

But you need to do more, care more, give more
I feel like I’ve given you all I’ve got
And I haven’t received the same in return
At one point we saw eye to eye
But you’ve given me less and less
And I fear we’re drifting apart

I’d like to care less
I’d like to focus more on me
And spend less time on you
But even still I care about you, and want you still

The specter of disappointment lingers behind you
You haven’t met my expectations in a long while
We were giving as much to each other as we gave to ourselves
And I long for that still
I wish that were still the dynamic
But alas, things have changed

I accept that and it’s okay
I just have to approach with more caution
But my loyalty gets in the way
I can’t deprive myself of helping you
My feelings are mixed in that way

I still want to see things through
I still want to be good to you
But my bitterness gets in the way
I can’t seem to tame my rage
I can’t seem to overcome the pain of disappointment
Can’t seem to express to you the way that I feel

So this will have to do
I’m of two minds
I want to continue being good to you
But I also want to beat the shit out of you
I want to keep helping you
But what do I get out of it?
Increasingly less

I’m not asking for your undivided attention
Just for some in part
I’m not asking for your full commitment
Just for a little devotion
I’m not asking you to go along for the whole ride
Just that sometimes you would be by my side

Not asking for your love and affection
Just a brief moment of your time
I know you’re busy but I’ve set aside time for you
I expected you to do the same

I’m of two minds
Part of me wants to end it
I mean what’s in it for me?
But part of me doesn’t wanna rock the boat
We had something good for so long
I had only hoped for it to become more strong

It seems I must’ve misread the situation
I was much more devoted to you than you were to me
I sit here and long for what we once had
It seems like such a long time ago
Maybe we can recover and move on
Or maybe this is just a thing of the past